chloius and chellius are actually not students in brickfields (now).
they are actually assassins from the future sent by the AAC movement (the anti antichrist) movement.
they have specific orders from the future. and they've been recruited by little moon-people that are purple in color that ride motorbikes with wings from the future.
their orders are to kill the second-largest villain in history of the world.
the order of villain people in the history of the world in the year 2029 would be:
1. the EU antichrist
2. the Hartbinder satan
3. adolf hitler
4. barrack obama
5. ramesh the debt collector of brickfields (but he doesn't really count cause he tailored his beahviour in the pattern of hitler anyhoo so crediting him without crediting hitler would be nothing short of breaching a sophisticated form of intellectual property)
note: in the year 2016, there will be a development in the law of intellectual property where evil people start a manner of 'patents' or 'copyrights' of their evil deeds and anyone who did the evil deeds without putting in a footnote to thank their evil forerunners would be sentenced to 5 years at the word processor to write their evil forerunner's biography.
this law was initially in the form of syariah law only where the al-qaeda did all kinds of stuff and in the future the eu antichrist started doing it at first but then the al-qaeda got mad cause the antichrist was of biblical origin and stole the ideas from the quran and the eu antichrist apologized but then the al-qaeda was still mad.
so the biography: my days as the bomb: a memoir- by eu antichrist can be found in shelves after the year 2016 (its publishing date).
anyhoo...
so yeah, chloius and chellius received little messages by little moon people on how to kill hartbinder and they had to kill hartbinder before 2010 because it would only be five years left for him and the eu antichrist to wreck havoc.
but chellius said that they'd only have classes with hartbinder in january. so the moon people would have to wait until then
the moon people told her to go to ipoh with chloius.
the two of them said no. cause the water in ipoh makes a lot of people crazy and they don't want to catch rabies.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Showdown
One day whilst Chloius wasn't around (as usual), everyone sat down to watch a showdown between the A&W bear and the blind guy. Who is the blind guy? The blind guy is a guy who is blind. Duh.
And so, the A&W teddy bear shut the blind guy up by telling everyone that his wife likes him in tank tops.
I can't help but wonder, perhaps she likes him in tank tops because he refuses to wear a bra and everyone knows tits like that need restraint... So it's the next best thing ya know...
Hahaha, I think he will whoop my ass...
And so, the A&W teddy bear shut the blind guy up by telling everyone that his wife likes him in tank tops.
I can't help but wonder, perhaps she likes him in tank tops because he refuses to wear a bra and everyone knows tits like that need restraint... So it's the next best thing ya know...
Hahaha, I think he will whoop my ass...
Monday, December 1, 2008
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
Chloius was bouncing up and down like she always does and blabbering nonsensical prattle about everything and nothing at all excited for once about sucking in air. Chellius on the other hand was singing out loud and chasing the magical butterfly that just refused to be caught and would rather play with Chellius' head. A loud screeching metallic noise made them stop and look up frightened to the core.
It was boonsiew. Playing with some metal instrument that looked like a cross between a scalpel and a machette. "Phew!" breathed Chellius, "For a second there I thought it was Hartbinder's can opener nose come to attack us because we're on to him." Chloius nodded in agreement, stunned silent for the moment and looking warily at boonsiew's new toy. "Of course not you guys, it's only me and my new toy, Hector. He's a cross between a scalpel and a machette."
"What's it for?" asked Chloius cautiously.
"Dududu," hummed Chellius distracted by her black hair.
boonsiew grinned, his moley eyes squinting into a line, "It's for protection against girls!"
Chellius snapped back into the conversation with a snort. "Girls boonsiew? You're a slut! A man slut!" laughed Chloius, "Patoinngg!"
"Yes, it is for protection against girls. I have irresistible impulses you see. I need to protect my impulses. I am not safe. My balls are at stake here bitches. My manslut powers are diminishing. I know my human laxative powers are still intact though cos that doesn't really affect me, only Chloius but it's really a placebo. Maybe it's cos everything is just shit to her so she just shits."
"I'm standing right here!"
"Oh, sorry, I was distracted by Hector. He's a cross between a scalpel and a machette you know."
"Some army we have assembled here guys. A moron, a slut and a cartoon character. How do we fight the evil eu antichrist and Hartbinder put together?" asked no one in particular.
"With reason my friends, reason is the power of being. I am the reasonable man. Remember that the law is the pinky promise made under the glittering disco balls. Easily manipulated and something something that I don't remember."
Chellius looked at the sudden unexpected newcomer into the conversation and shrugged. Whoeverthefuck that was, he wasn't important. Her unicorn needed sparkle fruit. Chloius snuggled down to sleep, she was tired out. Growing magical plants on her balcony even in her head took a lot out of her. boonsiew played with Hector and settled into a slouchy pose. The reasonable man faded out.
Their little house was safe for the moment...
It was boonsiew. Playing with some metal instrument that looked like a cross between a scalpel and a machette. "Phew!" breathed Chellius, "For a second there I thought it was Hartbinder's can opener nose come to attack us because we're on to him." Chloius nodded in agreement, stunned silent for the moment and looking warily at boonsiew's new toy. "Of course not you guys, it's only me and my new toy, Hector. He's a cross between a scalpel and a machette."
"What's it for?" asked Chloius cautiously.
"Dududu," hummed Chellius distracted by her black hair.
boonsiew grinned, his moley eyes squinting into a line, "It's for protection against girls!"
Chellius snapped back into the conversation with a snort. "Girls boonsiew? You're a slut! A man slut!" laughed Chloius, "Patoinngg!"
"Yes, it is for protection against girls. I have irresistible impulses you see. I need to protect my impulses. I am not safe. My balls are at stake here bitches. My manslut powers are diminishing. I know my human laxative powers are still intact though cos that doesn't really affect me, only Chloius but it's really a placebo. Maybe it's cos everything is just shit to her so she just shits."
"I'm standing right here!"
"Oh, sorry, I was distracted by Hector. He's a cross between a scalpel and a machette you know."
"Some army we have assembled here guys. A moron, a slut and a cartoon character. How do we fight the evil eu antichrist and Hartbinder put together?" asked no one in particular.
"With reason my friends, reason is the power of being. I am the reasonable man. Remember that the law is the pinky promise made under the glittering disco balls. Easily manipulated and something something that I don't remember."
Chellius looked at the sudden unexpected newcomer into the conversation and shrugged. Whoeverthefuck that was, he wasn't important. Her unicorn needed sparkle fruit. Chloius snuggled down to sleep, she was tired out. Growing magical plants on her balcony even in her head took a lot out of her. boonsiew played with Hector and settled into a slouchy pose. The reasonable man faded out.
Their little house was safe for the moment...
Friday, November 28, 2008
boon siew, chellius, pwincess and steph has new house
boon siew
chellius'
pwincess
steph
have a new house.
it is pretty.
it is neat.
it is our new house.
chloius must come to our new house.
tomorrow chellius take you there.
and you can have picnic.
we have a new house.
it is pretty.
it is tiny.
it has a little ghost.
our little house is haunted.
we can play pin the tail on the donkey
in our little house.
we have a little house.
it is pretty
it is sweet
we have a new little house.
chellius'
pwincess
steph
have a new house.
it is pretty.
it is neat.
it is our new house.
chloius must come to our new house.
tomorrow chellius take you there.
and you can have picnic.
we have a new house.
it is pretty.
it is tiny.
it has a little ghost.
our little house is haunted.
we can play pin the tail on the donkey
in our little house.
we have a little house.
it is pretty
it is sweet
we have a new little house.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Secretly brilliant
Hart-binder, second to the eu antichrist, his top evil henchman, his cooley or lackey or whatever the fucking word is grew up in a small deadbeat town with nothing to do. As the middle child, he never got the attention he believed he should have recieved but being the middle child out of a factory of 21 can openers is hard and Hart-binder strove for recognition.
His craving for attention stemmed mainly from the fact that he was smarter than his can opener brothers and sisters and yet, mama can opener and papa can opener never really paid attention to his self cheering (link) and so driven insane by his hunger for love and affection and repect and recognition and attention and all those crazy people shit, he left home in search for what he believed to be the true meaning of his life.
Unfortunately, on the way sometime during his legum baccalaureus the evil eu antichrist (who obviously has his own shady drama birth by the likes of Adolf Hitler and quite possibly be the latest president - which is worse: redneck or the spawn of the devil?) sought him out, paid him compliments (awarding him first class), made him believe he was special and that it was alright to tell everyone just how special he was and lots of other things those people with poor self confidence and the desire to be acknowledged need to be happy. Oh he also introduced Hart-binder to a chick so that he would be able to be accepted in general society considering gay people aren't even allowed to be married in California anymore.
The reasonable man on the other hand is everything Hart-binder isn't. He really is the nothing special, Clapham omnibus riding, decievingly predictable blah who only wanted to go to work and then home to his wife with fish for dinner but whose name is on the tip of everyone's tongue and who has become recognized as a superhero. Hart-binder has the fatal flaw many people who dream of making it big time have - jealousy and the eu antichrist played his buttons well.
Chellius, I think that my previous streak of disillusionment with the reasonable man has ended. He has once again opened my eyes to his super powers. He is the reasonable man because it is not fame he seeks nor recognition, he seeks reasonableness even if it seems boring and bland. And though what he seeks is nothing special, it cannot shut out the light that radiates from within him to show his super powers it just hasn't gone to his head. He simply isn't affected because that would just be stupid and being affected shuts your eye from the big picture and is just not reasonable. He knows the glory isn't his to take.
His craving for attention stemmed mainly from the fact that he was smarter than his can opener brothers and sisters and yet, mama can opener and papa can opener never really paid attention to his self cheering (link) and so driven insane by his hunger for love and affection and repect and recognition and attention and all those crazy people shit, he left home in search for what he believed to be the true meaning of his life.
Unfortunately, on the way sometime during his legum baccalaureus the evil eu antichrist (who obviously has his own shady drama birth by the likes of Adolf Hitler and quite possibly be the latest president - which is worse: redneck or the spawn of the devil?) sought him out, paid him compliments (awarding him first class), made him believe he was special and that it was alright to tell everyone just how special he was and lots of other things those people with poor self confidence and the desire to be acknowledged need to be happy. Oh he also introduced Hart-binder to a chick so that he would be able to be accepted in general society considering gay people aren't even allowed to be married in California anymore.
The reasonable man on the other hand is everything Hart-binder isn't. He really is the nothing special, Clapham omnibus riding, decievingly predictable blah who only wanted to go to work and then home to his wife with fish for dinner but whose name is on the tip of everyone's tongue and who has become recognized as a superhero. Hart-binder has the fatal flaw many people who dream of making it big time have - jealousy and the eu antichrist played his buttons well.
Chellius, I think that my previous streak of disillusionment with the reasonable man has ended. He has once again opened my eyes to his super powers. He is the reasonable man because it is not fame he seeks nor recognition, he seeks reasonableness even if it seems boring and bland. And though what he seeks is nothing special, it cannot shut out the light that radiates from within him to show his super powers it just hasn't gone to his head. He simply isn't affected because that would just be stupid and being affected shuts your eye from the big picture and is just not reasonable. He knows the glory isn't his to take.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Attack of Cow!
Chloius and Chellius were both on their own computers.
9-9.45 PM (malaysian time) (20 November 2008)
Location: chloius happy house and chellius retard house
1. Chloius was chatting on msn and building a wooden house out of ice cream sticks on her computer table because she wanted the cockroaches in her house to have a pretty place to live.
2. Chellius was playing with her unicorn and she attempted to feed her unicorn dinner but then they didn't wanna eat regular food and she had to go out of the house to find special sparkle fruit.
3. Chloius realized that her little wooden house did not have any plants and she had to go downstairs to the playground to collect plants for decoration and durians to act as a guard dog for her house.
-a durian would guard the cockroach house.
8.30
Location: somewhere in the evil place where the EU antichrist dwells
1. he sent his little evil pixie helpers to go and steal sparkle fruit from chellius house.
2. he sent homeless cockroaches to chloius house so she would feel sorry and build house for them. and then she'd go to look for durians to guard the house cause people have guard dogs to guard their houses and cockroaches would have durians.
3. he also sent his evil army of ninjas to capture them.
10pm
location: the super garden in between chloius and chellius house
chloius: hey hey, chellius, fancy seeing you here! when i was online and i didn't see you online, i thought you were dead cause you have nothing better to do other than be online. but yay, you're not dead!
chellius: hi hi chloius, no i'm not dead. i wasn't online cause i was feeding my unicorns but then i ran out of sparkle fruit so i came down and got some. what about you? you don't go and play in the play ground at 10pm unless you're like high or something.
you don't look high, cause i can't see the whites in your eyes right now. not really.
chloius: oww, i'm not, its just that i was building this house for homeless cockroaches and then i thought oh, since people had guard dogs, cockroaches would need durians to guard their house so i came down to find them. but its so weird cause my house never had any homeless cockroaches until today.
they're not welcome in my house. so i make them new house. OK.
chellius: oh you know its so weird too, cause i had collected alot of sparkle fruit from last night i swear and i had some but then when i turned around, they weren't there. its like they disappeared. o wow what a coincidence what a happy accident that we both have weird things happening and then we can hang out in the garden?
chloius: hey, u know what? i dont think it was an accident. there's something fishy about your missing sparkle fruit and the new cockroaches in my house....
chellius: they're not fishy, they're unicorns! gee chloius you're quite retarded ya
suddenly, their conversation was cut off by a loud moo and then from the bushes, a brown and white cow cartwheeled out in front of them, its head covered in ninja headgear. it made a hAIYAAAH sound. and then suddenly, five cows, black and brown and white, fell from the sky, all dressed as ninjas, with swords and knives, rolling about in grand fashion.
chellius: oh, hello, how are you pretty cows! *running towards them to hug them*
chloius: *pulls chellius back* NO CHELLIUS! they look dangerous. dont run at dangerous cows! look, look at their uniforms! that's the letters : E.U.
they look at each other in horror.
and a cow steps forward.
9-9.45 PM (malaysian time) (20 November 2008)
Location: chloius happy house and chellius retard house
1. Chloius was chatting on msn and building a wooden house out of ice cream sticks on her computer table because she wanted the cockroaches in her house to have a pretty place to live.
2. Chellius was playing with her unicorn and she attempted to feed her unicorn dinner but then they didn't wanna eat regular food and she had to go out of the house to find special sparkle fruit.
3. Chloius realized that her little wooden house did not have any plants and she had to go downstairs to the playground to collect plants for decoration and durians to act as a guard dog for her house.
-a durian would guard the cockroach house.
8.30
Location: somewhere in the evil place where the EU antichrist dwells
1. he sent his little evil pixie helpers to go and steal sparkle fruit from chellius house.
2. he sent homeless cockroaches to chloius house so she would feel sorry and build house for them. and then she'd go to look for durians to guard the house cause people have guard dogs to guard their houses and cockroaches would have durians.
3. he also sent his evil army of ninjas to capture them.
10pm
location: the super garden in between chloius and chellius house
chloius: hey hey, chellius, fancy seeing you here! when i was online and i didn't see you online, i thought you were dead cause you have nothing better to do other than be online. but yay, you're not dead!
chellius: hi hi chloius, no i'm not dead. i wasn't online cause i was feeding my unicorns but then i ran out of sparkle fruit so i came down and got some. what about you? you don't go and play in the play ground at 10pm unless you're like high or something.
you don't look high, cause i can't see the whites in your eyes right now. not really.
chloius: oww, i'm not, its just that i was building this house for homeless cockroaches and then i thought oh, since people had guard dogs, cockroaches would need durians to guard their house so i came down to find them. but its so weird cause my house never had any homeless cockroaches until today.
they're not welcome in my house. so i make them new house. OK.
chellius: oh you know its so weird too, cause i had collected alot of sparkle fruit from last night i swear and i had some but then when i turned around, they weren't there. its like they disappeared. o wow what a coincidence what a happy accident that we both have weird things happening and then we can hang out in the garden?
chloius: hey, u know what? i dont think it was an accident. there's something fishy about your missing sparkle fruit and the new cockroaches in my house....
chellius: they're not fishy, they're unicorns! gee chloius you're quite retarded ya
suddenly, their conversation was cut off by a loud moo and then from the bushes, a brown and white cow cartwheeled out in front of them, its head covered in ninja headgear. it made a hAIYAAAH sound. and then suddenly, five cows, black and brown and white, fell from the sky, all dressed as ninjas, with swords and knives, rolling about in grand fashion.
chellius: oh, hello, how are you pretty cows! *running towards them to hug them*
chloius: *pulls chellius back* NO CHELLIUS! they look dangerous. dont run at dangerous cows! look, look at their uniforms! that's the letters : E.U.
they look at each other in horror.
and a cow steps forward.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Chellius and Chloius escape from IRC
Actually the only things I can think of are a cockmeatsandwich and a cheetah on weed. None of which are things we need to fear during our stay at the IRC which is pleasant enough in general until of course...
You share a cell with a minister dude who said sneezed on someone's sandwich and got hauled in for sodomy or you have to eat with Hart-binder Singh who isn't an inmate but rather a form of torture or you have to listen to the other inmates be affected and moan about having a shitty government who doesn't believe in truth and covers up their shortcomings and lies and bullshit.
At least the entertainment there is good. Which is doing nothing at all. Still, we had to escape. We had to bring truth to the people...
We escaped on a motorbike which none of us could ride. We had to lean to a side to take turns and the IRC people chased after us on their kapchais. Chellius doesn't believe in weed so out motorbike couldn't run high like the cheetah (if it was a cheetah) it ran low until it sputtered and died and we got off and ran like squawking chickens flapping their wings.
The reasonable man met us and handed us our disguises - a pottu for Chellius and an eyebrow waxing kit for me so people wouldn't notice my moustache is above my eyes instead of above my lip. He turned to leave but before he did so he said, "But for your reasonably good nonsense, you would not have kena tangkaped by the IRC, so be reasonable for once."
I turned to Chellius, "You know what, the reasonable man is so not my hero anymore. I am my hero. We fucken escaped from Hart-binder yo. Damn, we cool."
Chellius replied, "Unicorn power!"
You share a cell with a minister dude who said sneezed on someone's sandwich and got hauled in for sodomy or you have to eat with Hart-binder Singh who isn't an inmate but rather a form of torture or you have to listen to the other inmates be affected and moan about having a shitty government who doesn't believe in truth and covers up their shortcomings and lies and bullshit.
At least the entertainment there is good. Which is doing nothing at all. Still, we had to escape. We had to bring truth to the people...
We escaped on a motorbike which none of us could ride. We had to lean to a side to take turns and the IRC people chased after us on their kapchais. Chellius doesn't believe in weed so out motorbike couldn't run high like the cheetah (if it was a cheetah) it ran low until it sputtered and died and we got off and ran like squawking chickens flapping their wings.
The reasonable man met us and handed us our disguises - a pottu for Chellius and an eyebrow waxing kit for me so people wouldn't notice my moustache is above my eyes instead of above my lip. He turned to leave but before he did so he said, "But for your reasonably good nonsense, you would not have kena tangkaped by the IRC, so be reasonable for once."
I turned to Chellius, "You know what, the reasonable man is so not my hero anymore. I am my hero. We fucken escaped from Hart-binder yo. Damn, we cool."
Chellius replied, "Unicorn power!"
Saturday, November 22, 2008
1-800-PEOPLE-LIKE-ME
Some people wondered if we were friends merely based on the idea that we live outside each others houses, others wondered if we had met in atc, and some people wonder that we both had 'retard-radar' so we found each other... and chloius and chellius came to be.
the last bit is probably the most accurate. but the truth is chloe dialed the number
1-800-People-Like-Me
Automated Phone service (APS): Hello, you're through to the People Like Me hotline, to define your personality in English, please press 1.
-to go through an automated personality test in english, please press 2.
-to go through the bahasa melayu personality test just because it sounds retarded, please press 3.
Chloius: Presses 3.
APS: Anda telah tekan 3. Saya akan memtanya tanyakan soal soal yang sungguh begitu penting supaya kamu akan dapat kawan yang baru sepertis yous.
-Sila pilih satu jawab jawab:
1. adakah soalan dalam bahasa melayu memconfusekan anda, sila tekan 1.
2. jika anda suka main talipon dalam bahasa melayu sila tekan 2.
Chloius: Furiously presses 1.
APS: You have selected a friend that does not speak bahasa melayu very well unless it is required for jokes, ridiculous comments and unfortunate events, such as court cases if you have the bad luck to practice law in malaysia.
-if you are friendly, please press 1
-if you are angry and emo, please press 2
-if you left your brain at home, please press 3
Chloius: Presses 3
APS: We are sorry to tell you that your friend will also have no brain, since you want a friend just like you. Please select a particular mental retardation to compliment your friend.
-for multiple personality disorder please press 1
-for obsessive compulsive disorder, please press 2
-for children that were dropped on their head, please press 3
Chloius: Presses 3 again
APS: We must advice you that in the event you do order a friend that has been previously dropped on their head as a child could very well bring about much woe such as
-random outbursts of rage or emotion, sudden chasing of cars or butterflies, retarded sound effects, uncontrollable drooling, halucinations of magical creatures and a head that could be heavier on one side.
-we have found the right person for you. we have already given her your address.
-to proceed please press 1
Chloius: Presses 1 (hesitantly)
APS: Thank you for calling 1-800-People-Like-Me. Here at 1-800-People-Like-Me, we provide the best quality service for you, so for your convenience, we have placed your Retarded Companion five minutes away from your home, so she can come and find you whenever she needs a playmate.
Chloius: OH SHIT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Chellius: HELOOOOOOO CHLOOOIUUUUSSSSS.
i like you so much i live outside your house, set up a blog with you and talk to you on msn even though i just saw you 20 minutes ago! we're gonna have SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER.
i sound like im crazy....
the last bit is probably the most accurate. but the truth is chloe dialed the number
1-800-People-Like-Me
Automated Phone service (APS): Hello, you're through to the People Like Me hotline, to define your personality in English, please press 1.
-to go through an automated personality test in english, please press 2.
-to go through the bahasa melayu personality test just because it sounds retarded, please press 3.
Chloius: Presses 3.
APS: Anda telah tekan 3. Saya akan memtanya tanyakan soal soal yang sungguh begitu penting supaya kamu akan dapat kawan yang baru sepertis yous.
-Sila pilih satu jawab jawab:
1. adakah soalan dalam bahasa melayu memconfusekan anda, sila tekan 1.
2. jika anda suka main talipon dalam bahasa melayu sila tekan 2.
Chloius: Furiously presses 1.
APS: You have selected a friend that does not speak bahasa melayu very well unless it is required for jokes, ridiculous comments and unfortunate events, such as court cases if you have the bad luck to practice law in malaysia.
-if you are friendly, please press 1
-if you are angry and emo, please press 2
-if you left your brain at home, please press 3
Chloius: Presses 3
APS: We are sorry to tell you that your friend will also have no brain, since you want a friend just like you. Please select a particular mental retardation to compliment your friend.
-for multiple personality disorder please press 1
-for obsessive compulsive disorder, please press 2
-for children that were dropped on their head, please press 3
Chloius: Presses 3 again
APS: We must advice you that in the event you do order a friend that has been previously dropped on their head as a child could very well bring about much woe such as
-random outbursts of rage or emotion, sudden chasing of cars or butterflies, retarded sound effects, uncontrollable drooling, halucinations of magical creatures and a head that could be heavier on one side.
-we have found the right person for you. we have already given her your address.
-to proceed please press 1
Chloius: Presses 1 (hesitantly)
APS: Thank you for calling 1-800-People-Like-Me. Here at 1-800-People-Like-Me, we provide the best quality service for you, so for your convenience, we have placed your Retarded Companion five minutes away from your home, so she can come and find you whenever she needs a playmate.
Chloius: OH SHIT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Chellius: HELOOOOOOO CHLOOOIUUUUSSSSS.
i like you so much i live outside your house, set up a blog with you and talk to you on msn even though i just saw you 20 minutes ago! we're gonna have SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER.
i sound like im crazy....
Friday, November 21, 2008
Other possibilities of who may be Antichrist
Being purely nonsensical, one would assume that our conspiracy theories would not be approved by anyone other than people of the same brain (eg: the people in our shoutbox). So i thought to facilitate the reading of people who may read this blog (unlikely) who do not have the same brain by posting a speculative post of other possibilities of who might be the antichrist.
1. I hit google and the first article i see, here i'll link you: http://healtheland.wordpress.com/2007/07/05/the-main-problem-with-many-of-the-theories-on-who-the-anti-christ-is-supposed-to-be/
-the primary antichrist candidate according to evangelicals (basically the God that Chloius and Chellius pray to in the 21st century) actually do believe that the EU is the antichrist.
-so our views are not as random, rebel, super cool and unique as we thought.
-apparently, our train of rubbish thought, is in line with everyone who has been brought up christian protestant... omg
2. Uhm, apparently the book Left Behind by tim lahaye and some other guy i think his name was Jerry B. Jenkins (but maybe im wrong), had kept focusing on the EU as the supporter of the antichrist.
-so yeah, people agree with our theories, or our mental ravings exist within the same train of thought with best-selling authors.
-fun fact number two: the man who wrote the best selling christian novel Left Behind's name is tim lay haye.
-are you aware that the man that translated the satanic bible's name also sounds a whole lot like tim la haye (i dont remember his name completely either) but the resemblance is uncanny..
okay after extensive searches and years after years of searching the internet and being stalkerfied about antichrist...
the nominees are in random order (because im not systematic enough to develop an order)
1. Barack Obama- a blog dedicated to finding out if he is the antichrist: http://www.barackobamaantichrist.blogspot.com/
-
And then I got a bit bored and decided that Chloius should continue. So Chloius will continue now:
*twilight zone music and fart sounds*
People who may be the antichrist -
Angelina Jolie and her adopt a baby off every continent plan. She also has Brad Pitt as her man and he's so fine he blows my mind. Bitch! She's got to be the antichrist.
That Khairy dude but only because he makes George Bush look like Einstein and also because he is a product of blatant nepotism with no cover line at all.
Stepheny Myer because she came up with ridiculous vampire rubbish that all the kids are reading religiously. It's such pretentious crap.
And from there you get gay boys like Edward Cullen but really, the worst has to be the actor who plays him who giggles like a girl and doesn't wash his hair and wants to be as smart as George Bush. You're on your way honey. (Btw, he was Cedric Diggory who I never thought was hot!)
Santa.
Whoever is head of Disney now for all the trash that comes out of it.
And Miley Cyrus because she's a no-talent, nothing special, common teenie bopper who likes to take naked pictures of herself on her phone camera and post them on the internet who people are saying oh she's gonna grow up like Britney blablabla... Britney can dance. Miley's dad was a one hit wonder and the whole normal girl with secret popstar life bullshit isn't even believable yet she's so famous. Must be some voodoo shit there.
Oh and I don't pray to the evangelicals. I don't even know if Chellius does that cos that's retarded. I'm anti religion after all. And I don't care either if the eu antichrist is the antichrist because as far as this blog is concerned, we spew out crap about the eu antichrist and the reasonable man being enemies with Hart-binder as the eu antichrist's righto hand man and hence evil but really, the reasonable man as a washed up hoity toity outdated fart. And Miley Cyrus really is crap.
1. I hit google and the first article i see, here i'll link you: http://healtheland.wordpress.com/2007/07/05/the-main-problem-with-many-of-the-theories-on-who-the-anti-christ-is-supposed-to-be/
-the primary antichrist candidate according to evangelicals (basically the God that Chloius and Chellius pray to in the 21st century) actually do believe that the EU is the antichrist.
-so our views are not as random, rebel, super cool and unique as we thought.
-apparently, our train of rubbish thought, is in line with everyone who has been brought up christian protestant... omg
2. Uhm, apparently the book Left Behind by tim lahaye and some other guy i think his name was Jerry B. Jenkins (but maybe im wrong), had kept focusing on the EU as the supporter of the antichrist.
-so yeah, people agree with our theories, or our mental ravings exist within the same train of thought with best-selling authors.
-fun fact number two: the man who wrote the best selling christian novel Left Behind's name is tim lay haye.
-are you aware that the man that translated the satanic bible's name also sounds a whole lot like tim la haye (i dont remember his name completely either) but the resemblance is uncanny..
okay after extensive searches and years after years of searching the internet and being stalkerfied about antichrist...
the nominees are in random order (because im not systematic enough to develop an order)
1. Barack Obama- a blog dedicated to finding out if he is the antichrist: http://www.barackobamaantichrist.blogspot.com/
-
And then I got a bit bored and decided that Chloius should continue. So Chloius will continue now:
*twilight zone music and fart sounds*
People who may be the antichrist -
Angelina Jolie and her adopt a baby off every continent plan. She also has Brad Pitt as her man and he's so fine he blows my mind. Bitch! She's got to be the antichrist.
That Khairy dude but only because he makes George Bush look like Einstein and also because he is a product of blatant nepotism with no cover line at all.
Stepheny Myer because she came up with ridiculous vampire rubbish that all the kids are reading religiously. It's such pretentious crap.
And from there you get gay boys like Edward Cullen but really, the worst has to be the actor who plays him who giggles like a girl and doesn't wash his hair and wants to be as smart as George Bush. You're on your way honey. (Btw, he was Cedric Diggory who I never thought was hot!)
Santa.
Whoever is head of Disney now for all the trash that comes out of it.
And Miley Cyrus because she's a no-talent, nothing special, common teenie bopper who likes to take naked pictures of herself on her phone camera and post them on the internet who people are saying oh she's gonna grow up like Britney blablabla... Britney can dance. Miley's dad was a one hit wonder and the whole normal girl with secret popstar life bullshit isn't even believable yet she's so famous. Must be some voodoo shit there.
Oh and I don't pray to the evangelicals. I don't even know if Chellius does that cos that's retarded. I'm anti religion after all. And I don't care either if the eu antichrist is the antichrist because as far as this blog is concerned, we spew out crap about the eu antichrist and the reasonable man being enemies with Hart-binder as the eu antichrist's righto hand man and hence evil but really, the reasonable man as a washed up hoity toity outdated fart. And Miley Cyrus really is crap.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Pre-pubescent shit
1. This post is a sort of interview with moonshine's owner who is a brown chick.
2. this could also be us talking about the most exciting literary craze: stephanie myer's book the twilight and other shit.
3. high school musical (chloius is gross)
4. wizards of waverly place
5. ooo joe jonas... cody linley, i dunno who he is maybe in hannah montana, stupid edward cullen robert pattinson who has totally so much make up its not cool.
-zac effron
joe jonas
cody lindley
edward cullen
werewolf guy jake jacob black
6. movies: twilight, high school musical 3, uhm... thinking....
7. music: shake it by metro station, disturbia by rihanna, high school musical 3 soundtrack,
8. first kissing boy. giggle. i dunno. embarrassing.
9. mock other people in public like make fun about other people he's wearing something
-stupid drama ass person who we all hate call her sasha, urhm, and she likes this boy and says that she doesn't like him but she likes him alot and everyone knows that and she's very stupid and she urhm.... very dramatic and very emotional and very *Ewuhehehe i'm so cool* (high-pitched annoying soon to be skank voice)
10. what colour do you all like? pink and black. usually they all like black cause they all think they're emo.
11. emo people: thinks they're quite funny and they sit around and look like the wanna die. and its quite fun to talk to them cause they dont say shit and they onlysay "uh yeah yeah, im so cool im gonna kill myselfcause its so cool. and i wanna die. cause no one UNDERSTANDS ME.i'm ALL ALONE. oh no, my mascara lari..... oh no my eyeliner habis.... noooooo.... look at those ordinary people wannabes wearing colour, oh my god, that's so britney."
12. cliques: chinese girly crazy lala people
nerds- think they're very smarts but they're not cause they are actually funny
malay girls- they hate chinese people
lalas and nerds hang out together
two gay boys one of the gayboys have a gf
std six there's this boy who is rumoured that he likes a teacher and really he flirts with her and theres this play boy that i used tolike but he's very dumb.
he flirts with her with the stupid eyes and the stupid face and the stupid look and "heh heh" face.
i like my nails... she likes em too. moonshine go back to your owner... stop looking at the post. *kiss moonshine*
group where they''re like don't like to mix alot but they quite small group obviously cause they dont like people although sometimes mix around but they don't really.
poser people in std six and they think they'r damn smart and they'renot and they always wear black cause they're emo n they use alot of bad words and they pick on standard five people cause they're bastards.
but std five ppl always laugh at them cause they only got 1 A or 2 As for UPSR even though lansi.
*throws fit at moonshine*
but then kiss him again on nose. confusing....
13. i like jonas brothers, the standard four like my chemical romance even though they're dam weird people. mcr is weird. they're like WARRG WARRRGH hehehehe. we used to make fun of the stupid haired lead singer, cause he look lke a DUCK.
his hair is really retarded like kena bakar. duck.
-standard six hates disney channel n all the zac effron, miley cyrus, selena gomez, etc etc... and they like urh, like uhrm, urhm, the oh, they like uh simple plan (WORSE THAN DISNEY), DOUGHTRY. (eww), one one thingy,urhm, what's the song the what about now people some shit like thatla.
and then the standard six are into anim (anime) and and alot of the std six boys are into DOTA, and yah.
*kissing moonshine some more hehehhee*
14.well this is kinda in appropriate, urh uhuh, one of my friends is from the lala group and she's dam crazymostlywhatever anyone says and she turns it into something, like... pause... something... inappropriate.
-like like urhm, eww... quite gross LALA CHICK SOME MOREOK.
-eww and like one of those you know daniel ho eww eww ihate him. cause he's a ho. on friendster there's the business part he puts:porn star.
-STANDARD six already WANNABE HO. oh can't blame him right.... heheheheee. i used to date him. hehhehee but i know now that im smarter than last time. anyway i gotta change this pants cause its too hot.
We've already talked about boys, skanks, irritating people... what's next? "Going out without parents!" squeals Ebony excitedly. "What's so interesting about that?" "Achoe, choo," mumbles Ebony whilst squeezing poor moonshine and flipping her hair back. "Oh, my god, that's what I do at home, is that what I do?" asks Michelle going on about some monkey face...
"Once my friend and I went to OU with my mum and she had a sister who's 16 working there and so we wanted to go see her and mum said go alone lah, as long as you have your phone... And so we took out our shoes and ran around barefooted and went to see her sister and we played truth or dare and we took out the Christmas decorations and it wasn't a lot. Yeah..."
"According to you, why do people have to school? Omg so lame Michelle, let me think of something else. Okay why do you think people want to have boyfriends?"
"I don't know, maybe because they want to make out, or maybe they want to show to their friends that they have boyfriends or girlfriends or maybe because they really really like the person WOOO!"
"According to you why is it easier for some people to get bf or gf than other ppl?
"Because, they're very good looking or something or, or, or that person, he or she like um, suddenly have feelings for each other or something like that. People who find it hard to get boyfriends or girlfriends maybe because they're losers, or geeks, maybe cos their crush hates him or her, maybe because they're popular, maybe because they're too immature. Yeah, there was this boy who didn't like me anymore because he was too immature?"
"Was it the one who liked the teacher?"
"Hahaha!"
Definition of losers, geeks, immature people...
Losers - "I'll admit that I'm sometimes a very big loser. Losers are probably people who like um, oh okay, there's this boy who I think is really a loser but he's so funny. He's this nerdy boy who thinks he's so cool but he's not. He's Mr. Goody-shoe-pants. and he goes around and he and I usually fight with the meter long rulers and we play swords and run around the school fighting. And my friend who is kinda gay but has a girlfriend. He ran around the whole school play ice and fire and hide and seek and he's such a loser. And we were running around the whole school and our parents found out and killed us and when there are teachers around we pretend to be nice and when they're not looking we run away..."
Geeks - "Geeks are losers! In my class, the geeks don't really act like geeks but they just study alot. And they study and study, like this girl who is first in class and always studies and she's sometimes weird. Like sometimes when my clique runs around and she's always studying and studying, so boring. I don't know."
Immature - "Acting, probably immature means you're acting like a baby and maybe like um, well, the std 6 think we're immature because we run about playing ice and fire and hide and seek. And speaking about it, we were playing speed and everyone was betting. We bet like there was this boy, oh shoot, I was just chatting with him just now. Anyway, Wywy and Weyli was playing speed and if Wywy won Weyli had to kiss his girlfriend on the lips like kiss, kiss. Like OMG KISS!! And, and so he told me not to tell anyone but it's on the blog."
Twilight - "Oh my god, soo nice! I kinda like New Moon better than Twilight. I was the one who read about it first and brought it to school and now everyone thinks Edward Cullen is so cool. And this gay boy calls himself Richard Cullen because he's so gay."
Skanks - "What are skanks?" "Sluts." "EWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! Uh, I think they're very yucky! Cos they're like eingreeaaa arrhhhh greeaaaaa. OH! Although I like Paris Hilton cos she's cool, she's a skank!"
2. this could also be us talking about the most exciting literary craze: stephanie myer's book the twilight and other shit.
3. high school musical (chloius is gross)
4. wizards of waverly place
5. ooo joe jonas... cody linley, i dunno who he is maybe in hannah montana, stupid edward cullen robert pattinson who has totally so much make up its not cool.
-zac effron
joe jonas
cody lindley
edward cullen
werewolf guy jake jacob black
6. movies: twilight, high school musical 3, uhm... thinking....
7. music: shake it by metro station, disturbia by rihanna, high school musical 3 soundtrack,
8. first kissing boy. giggle. i dunno. embarrassing.
9. mock other people in public like make fun about other people he's wearing something
-stupid drama ass person who we all hate call her sasha, urhm, and she likes this boy and says that she doesn't like him but she likes him alot and everyone knows that and she's very stupid and she urhm.... very dramatic and very emotional and very *Ewuhehehe i'm so cool* (high-pitched annoying soon to be skank voice)
10. what colour do you all like? pink and black. usually they all like black cause they all think they're emo.
11. emo people: thinks they're quite funny and they sit around and look like the wanna die. and its quite fun to talk to them cause they dont say shit and they onlysay "uh yeah yeah, im so cool im gonna kill myselfcause its so cool. and i wanna die. cause no one UNDERSTANDS ME.i'm ALL ALONE. oh no, my mascara lari..... oh no my eyeliner habis.... noooooo.... look at those ordinary people wannabes wearing colour, oh my god, that's so britney."
12. cliques: chinese girly crazy lala people
nerds- think they're very smarts but they're not cause they are actually funny
malay girls- they hate chinese people
lalas and nerds hang out together
two gay boys one of the gayboys have a gf
std six there's this boy who is rumoured that he likes a teacher and really he flirts with her and theres this play boy that i used tolike but he's very dumb.
he flirts with her with the stupid eyes and the stupid face and the stupid look and "heh heh" face.
i like my nails... she likes em too. moonshine go back to your owner... stop looking at the post. *kiss moonshine*
group where they''re like don't like to mix alot but they quite small group obviously cause they dont like people although sometimes mix around but they don't really.
poser people in std six and they think they'r damn smart and they'renot and they always wear black cause they're emo n they use alot of bad words and they pick on standard five people cause they're bastards.
but std five ppl always laugh at them cause they only got 1 A or 2 As for UPSR even though lansi.
*throws fit at moonshine*
but then kiss him again on nose. confusing....
13. i like jonas brothers, the standard four like my chemical romance even though they're dam weird people. mcr is weird. they're like WARRG WARRRGH hehehehe. we used to make fun of the stupid haired lead singer, cause he look lke a DUCK.
his hair is really retarded like kena bakar. duck.
-standard six hates disney channel n all the zac effron, miley cyrus, selena gomez, etc etc... and they like urh, like uhrm, urhm, the oh, they like uh simple plan (WORSE THAN DISNEY), DOUGHTRY. (eww), one one thingy,urhm, what's the song the what about now people some shit like thatla.
and then the standard six are into anim (anime) and and alot of the std six boys are into DOTA, and yah.
*kissing moonshine some more hehehhee*
14.well this is kinda in appropriate, urh uhuh, one of my friends is from the lala group and she's dam crazymostlywhatever anyone says and she turns it into something, like... pause... something... inappropriate.
-like like urhm, eww... quite gross LALA CHICK SOME MOREOK.
-eww and like one of those you know daniel ho eww eww ihate him. cause he's a ho. on friendster there's the business part he puts:porn star.
-STANDARD six already WANNABE HO. oh can't blame him right.... heheheheee. i used to date him. hehhehee but i know now that im smarter than last time. anyway i gotta change this pants cause its too hot.
We've already talked about boys, skanks, irritating people... what's next? "Going out without parents!" squeals Ebony excitedly. "What's so interesting about that?" "Achoe, choo," mumbles Ebony whilst squeezing poor moonshine and flipping her hair back. "Oh, my god, that's what I do at home, is that what I do?" asks Michelle going on about some monkey face...
"Once my friend and I went to OU with my mum and she had a sister who's 16 working there and so we wanted to go see her and mum said go alone lah, as long as you have your phone... And so we took out our shoes and ran around barefooted and went to see her sister and we played truth or dare and we took out the Christmas decorations and it wasn't a lot. Yeah..."
"According to you, why do people have to school? Omg so lame Michelle, let me think of something else. Okay why do you think people want to have boyfriends?"
"I don't know, maybe because they want to make out, or maybe they want to show to their friends that they have boyfriends or girlfriends or maybe because they really really like the person WOOO!"
"According to you why is it easier for some people to get bf or gf than other ppl?
"Because, they're very good looking or something or, or, or that person, he or she like um, suddenly have feelings for each other or something like that. People who find it hard to get boyfriends or girlfriends maybe because they're losers, or geeks, maybe cos their crush hates him or her, maybe because they're popular, maybe because they're too immature. Yeah, there was this boy who didn't like me anymore because he was too immature?"
"Was it the one who liked the teacher?"
"Hahaha!"
Definition of losers, geeks, immature people...
Losers - "I'll admit that I'm sometimes a very big loser. Losers are probably people who like um, oh okay, there's this boy who I think is really a loser but he's so funny. He's this nerdy boy who thinks he's so cool but he's not. He's Mr. Goody-shoe-pants. and he goes around and he and I usually fight with the meter long rulers and we play swords and run around the school fighting. And my friend who is kinda gay but has a girlfriend. He ran around the whole school play ice and fire and hide and seek and he's such a loser. And we were running around the whole school and our parents found out and killed us and when there are teachers around we pretend to be nice and when they're not looking we run away..."
Geeks - "Geeks are losers! In my class, the geeks don't really act like geeks but they just study alot. And they study and study, like this girl who is first in class and always studies and she's sometimes weird. Like sometimes when my clique runs around and she's always studying and studying, so boring. I don't know."
Immature - "Acting, probably immature means you're acting like a baby and maybe like um, well, the std 6 think we're immature because we run about playing ice and fire and hide and seek. And speaking about it, we were playing speed and everyone was betting. We bet like there was this boy, oh shoot, I was just chatting with him just now. Anyway, Wywy and Weyli was playing speed and if Wywy won Weyli had to kiss his girlfriend on the lips like kiss, kiss. Like OMG KISS!! And, and so he told me not to tell anyone but it's on the blog."
Twilight - "Oh my god, soo nice! I kinda like New Moon better than Twilight. I was the one who read about it first and brought it to school and now everyone thinks Edward Cullen is so cool. And this gay boy calls himself Richard Cullen because he's so gay."
Skanks - "What are skanks?" "Sluts." "EWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! Uh, I think they're very yucky! Cos they're like eingreeaaa arrhhhh greeaaaaa. OH! Although I like Paris Hilton cos she's cool, she's a skank!"
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Arch nemesis and his evil henchmen
The reasonable man was snoring away happily dreaming about unreasonable things he would never be able to do when it hit him, "Mother fucker!" he shouted in his sleep which sounded more like "mmmmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhh!!!" instead. Even in his sleep his reasonable powers surpassed his understanding. His subconscious had managed to pull out from his mass memory of reasonableness that one rainy day years and years and years before when he was looking for a can opener to open some corned beef and his neighbour who for some reason was sneaking around his kitchen window in his backyard offered the use of his nose.
The memory jolted him awake. He gasped. Hart-binder! The can opener nose! His pink clad sister! Evil henchmen! The eu antichrist! Doomsday! Fuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkk!!!
He jumped out of the chair by the fire where he had his glorious afternoon naps throwing his cat off his lap in the process. He pulled up his suspenders and grabbed his tweed coat from the rack and opened the front door. He was just in time to catch the magical Clapham omnibus to make it into Brickfields. He had to see the teddy bear. He had the worst nightmares in his sleep.
He had barely made it two steps when his wife called out to him, "Why do you have your coat on? Can't you feel the midday heat? Seriously reasonable man, I have no idea why you're called that considering you're hardly reasonable at all! Take it off at once and go get the fish from the market or you'll have no dinner!"
Yes, our favourite super hero wasn't being very super heroish at this moment. He had become disillusioned by his powers at a young age and had gotten married to a Mrs. Twiddle who had smothered her first husband because he hated the cat. The question now is will he be able to pull his socks up and save the day once again? Will he be the reasonable man before it is too late? The ominous eu antichrist is fast gaining momentum whilst the reasonable man is a floundering middle aged man who rides the Clapham omnibus and the tube to go to work. What the fuck is happening?!
The memory jolted him awake. He gasped. Hart-binder! The can opener nose! His pink clad sister! Evil henchmen! The eu antichrist! Doomsday! Fuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkk!!!
He jumped out of the chair by the fire where he had his glorious afternoon naps throwing his cat off his lap in the process. He pulled up his suspenders and grabbed his tweed coat from the rack and opened the front door. He was just in time to catch the magical Clapham omnibus to make it into Brickfields. He had to see the teddy bear. He had the worst nightmares in his sleep.
He had barely made it two steps when his wife called out to him, "Why do you have your coat on? Can't you feel the midday heat? Seriously reasonable man, I have no idea why you're called that considering you're hardly reasonable at all! Take it off at once and go get the fish from the market or you'll have no dinner!"
Yes, our favourite super hero wasn't being very super heroish at this moment. He had become disillusioned by his powers at a young age and had gotten married to a Mrs. Twiddle who had smothered her first husband because he hated the cat. The question now is will he be able to pull his socks up and save the day once again? Will he be the reasonable man before it is too late? The ominous eu antichrist is fast gaining momentum whilst the reasonable man is a floundering middle aged man who rides the Clapham omnibus and the tube to go to work. What the fuck is happening?!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Hey, haven't I seen you Before?
Enter the Reasonable Man's Nemesis' plot: He must infiltrate the fortress of the Reasonable Man's best friend and his protector: the A n W teddy bear and his domain Brickfields.
1. He'd send in his little wired man, who spoke as though there was a thesaurus plugged into his brain and he was programmed to act superior to others in areas of vocabulary. (its all intimidation).
2. the EU antichrist would give him a real education complete with first class degree and sponsor his bar in england
3. the Eu antichrist would make him kena rasuk hantu by a really stupid and irritating old man who thinks he's so smart, so the A & W teddy bear would be wowed by his intelligence. eg: hla hart's hantu.
enter: Hart-Binder Singh. the rather large henchman of the antichrist. Only with the hart-binder will the antichrist pierce the teddy bear's halls.
and find the reasonable man. cause hart-binder and the reasonable man went to school together but reasonable man does not remember.
cause reasonable man quite lancy also right? he was only friends with his other cool super hero friends and he was kinda wannabe JLA (cause he's english and they'd never let him join JLA). constantine and him tried to start like a psuedo-Justice League England (but then no one wanted to layan him)
cause no one cool is from england eg: captain britain, jauggernaut, mystique, psylocke. (eiyer all quite lame)...
the reasonable man did not know, hart-binder was their next door neighbour.
where do you think the little pink sister learnt how to be such a good stunt woman and cheerleader? obviously she learnt from mister hart-binder himself...
what do you think the evil henchman does in his free time? he makes cheers, rhymes and puns, playing with words and making them sound pretty.
i'm scary, i'm cute
im hart-binder to boot.
great vocab, great hair,
i'll con the teddy bear.
1st class and im hot,
i'm everything you're not.
i'm pretty, i'm cool,
hart-binder'll DOMINATE THIS SCHOOL.
come on, reasonable man, you've SEEN HIM BEFORE!!!
why do you think he looks so friggin FAMILIAR?
1. He'd send in his little wired man, who spoke as though there was a thesaurus plugged into his brain and he was programmed to act superior to others in areas of vocabulary. (its all intimidation).
2. the EU antichrist would give him a real education complete with first class degree and sponsor his bar in england
3. the Eu antichrist would make him kena rasuk hantu by a really stupid and irritating old man who thinks he's so smart, so the A & W teddy bear would be wowed by his intelligence. eg: hla hart's hantu.
enter: Hart-Binder Singh. the rather large henchman of the antichrist. Only with the hart-binder will the antichrist pierce the teddy bear's halls.
and find the reasonable man. cause hart-binder and the reasonable man went to school together but reasonable man does not remember.
cause reasonable man quite lancy also right? he was only friends with his other cool super hero friends and he was kinda wannabe JLA (cause he's english and they'd never let him join JLA). constantine and him tried to start like a psuedo-Justice League England (but then no one wanted to layan him)
cause no one cool is from england eg: captain britain, jauggernaut, mystique, psylocke. (eiyer all quite lame)...
the reasonable man did not know, hart-binder was their next door neighbour.
where do you think the little pink sister learnt how to be such a good stunt woman and cheerleader? obviously she learnt from mister hart-binder himself...
what do you think the evil henchman does in his free time? he makes cheers, rhymes and puns, playing with words and making them sound pretty.
i'm scary, i'm cute
im hart-binder to boot.
great vocab, great hair,
i'll con the teddy bear.
1st class and im hot,
i'm everything you're not.
i'm pretty, i'm cool,
hart-binder'll DOMINATE THIS SCHOOL.
come on, reasonable man, you've SEEN HIM BEFORE!!!
why do you think he looks so friggin FAMILIAR?
Monday, November 17, 2008
voulez vous
The sun crept stealthily past the wide flung curtains that adorned the open window of her room. She stirred ever so slightly, mumbled something and averted her eyes from the glare. As the early morning sounds of chirping birds and the thud of the newspaper being delivered her squeezed shut eyes popped open and she sat upright in bed excitedly. "Oh my god! It's the first day of school!" she thought excitedly, "I'm the new head cheerleader!" Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she jumped out of bed like a kid on Christmas and swung open the pink door of her bedroom.
She crossed the hallway and rapped her tiny hands on the dark wood door that stood there. "Oh dear sweet brother!" she trilled, "Do wake up! It's the first day of the school year!"
Behind the door was a dank, musty room. Her brother squeezed his eyes tighter and rolled over pulling his pillow over his head. She called louder this time, "Oh, do, do wake up! Aren't you excited at all?" He groaned louder and mumbled something that sounded like, "Shut the fuck up you fucked up bitch!" Her knocking got louder and more incessant and he kept cowering away from the sound curling up in a ball hoping that if he ignored her long enough, she would go away.
The final straw was when she opened her mouth and sang, "The sun will come up tooo-moo-rrooowwww..." His eyes popped open and he reached over to his stereo remote and blasted at full volume the hardcore metal he listened to. "Stupid bitch," he muttered and settled down again under his covers, shutting his eyes.
She stood open mouthed outside. Hurt and upset that her beloved twin brother could listen to such awful music. Then her eyes narrowed there was something in the music that made her angry. She was going to be the head cheerleader and nothing was going to spoil her day. She rushed back into her room and dug out her pink secret hide-away box of treasures from under her bed. Pulling out a long pink cleaver she laughed maniacally.
Storming out into the hallway she was met by her mother coming to see what the noise was all about. Without thinking she lifted her pink cleaver and struck slicing her mother's face in two with one blow. Her mother dropped down dead and lifeless, a look of horror and shock plastered on two pieces of face.
Lifting her arm up, she hammered on the dark door with her cleaver. Her brother rolled over and sighed. He slid open his window finally letting in some fresh air and crawled out. Making his way to the side of the house he just so happened to glance in at a window that looked in on the corridor his dead mother lay motionless at, her dark blood pooled around her. "Fuck," he swore out loud, "That bitch really is crazy."
He jumped down to the ground from some 20 feet above without breaking a sweat. He ducked behind some trees and emerged a second later dressed victoriously in dark purple underpants. He ran into the house and thundered up the stairs and ran towards his evil pink clad sister. He put his hands on her head as she turned towards him with her cleaver poised for the blow.
Suddenly she stopped. The cleaver dropped to the ground and a look of shock registered on her face. He closed his eyes. When he opened them a minute later, the pooled blood had vanished, the pink cleaver too. His mother picked herself up from the floor and walked past him telling him to turn the music down as if nothing had happened.
The look of shock in her face disappeared and she shook her head free of his grasp. "Oh, brother!" she squealed excitedly grating his ears with her perky high pitched voice, "I'm going to be head cheerleader!" she hugged him tightly and kissed his nose and skipped away into her room.
Forty minutes later their mother pulled up outside the schoo lgates and looked at them expectantly. He looked fairly disgusted as his sister kissed her mother excitedly on the cheek and stepped out of the car. She turned to him and smiled, her eyes all innocent.
It wasn't going to be easy going through puberty when you have super hero powers such as his especially when he had a crazed sister running around dressed all in pink. Little did he know that his future had in store for him a greater nemesis when he grew up. Lucky he had with him his power of reason.
She crossed the hallway and rapped her tiny hands on the dark wood door that stood there. "Oh dear sweet brother!" she trilled, "Do wake up! It's the first day of the school year!"
Behind the door was a dank, musty room. Her brother squeezed his eyes tighter and rolled over pulling his pillow over his head. She called louder this time, "Oh, do, do wake up! Aren't you excited at all?" He groaned louder and mumbled something that sounded like, "Shut the fuck up you fucked up bitch!" Her knocking got louder and more incessant and he kept cowering away from the sound curling up in a ball hoping that if he ignored her long enough, she would go away.
The final straw was when she opened her mouth and sang, "The sun will come up tooo-moo-rrooowwww..." His eyes popped open and he reached over to his stereo remote and blasted at full volume the hardcore metal he listened to. "Stupid bitch," he muttered and settled down again under his covers, shutting his eyes.
She stood open mouthed outside. Hurt and upset that her beloved twin brother could listen to such awful music. Then her eyes narrowed there was something in the music that made her angry. She was going to be the head cheerleader and nothing was going to spoil her day. She rushed back into her room and dug out her pink secret hide-away box of treasures from under her bed. Pulling out a long pink cleaver she laughed maniacally.
Storming out into the hallway she was met by her mother coming to see what the noise was all about. Without thinking she lifted her pink cleaver and struck slicing her mother's face in two with one blow. Her mother dropped down dead and lifeless, a look of horror and shock plastered on two pieces of face.
Lifting her arm up, she hammered on the dark door with her cleaver. Her brother rolled over and sighed. He slid open his window finally letting in some fresh air and crawled out. Making his way to the side of the house he just so happened to glance in at a window that looked in on the corridor his dead mother lay motionless at, her dark blood pooled around her. "Fuck," he swore out loud, "That bitch really is crazy."
He jumped down to the ground from some 20 feet above without breaking a sweat. He ducked behind some trees and emerged a second later dressed victoriously in dark purple underpants. He ran into the house and thundered up the stairs and ran towards his evil pink clad sister. He put his hands on her head as she turned towards him with her cleaver poised for the blow.
Suddenly she stopped. The cleaver dropped to the ground and a look of shock registered on her face. He closed his eyes. When he opened them a minute later, the pooled blood had vanished, the pink cleaver too. His mother picked herself up from the floor and walked past him telling him to turn the music down as if nothing had happened.
The look of shock in her face disappeared and she shook her head free of his grasp. "Oh, brother!" she squealed excitedly grating his ears with her perky high pitched voice, "I'm going to be head cheerleader!" she hugged him tightly and kissed his nose and skipped away into her room.
Forty minutes later their mother pulled up outside the schoo lgates and looked at them expectantly. He looked fairly disgusted as his sister kissed her mother excitedly on the cheek and stepped out of the car. She turned to him and smiled, her eyes all innocent.
It wasn't going to be easy going through puberty when you have super hero powers such as his especially when he had a crazed sister running around dressed all in pink. Little did he know that his future had in store for him a greater nemesis when he grew up. Lucky he had with him his power of reason.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Are you going to cyber?
One day whilst reading fun facts about the Roman gods and shit, a random thought started blinking somewhere above my head and I googled Roman sex; tales of debauchery and incest and household slave orgies popped up. I thought then that since the Romans got so much of their culture from the Greeks, maybe they got the sex thing too. After all, their deity seem like such a sex crazed bunch. All that popped up was anal sex. (To go French is oral by the way, fun fact for you.)
"Oh, you don't wanna touch my thumbdrive."
"Why?"
*wink wink, nudge nudge* "It's got my collection of porn in it."
The reaction the general population of girls give to that is - "Ewwww!"
Girls generally tend to pretend that they've never seen porn before because it's the typical gross guy thing to do right before they wank or something. I don't know. I'm not a guy no matter how male I think I am.
I just don't get why anyone would get addicted to porn. I mean have you seen that shit? Doesn't it ever get boring?
You get an ugly ass toad of a guy, a fucking ugly toad of a chick, wham bam, they're naked... Oooh, sexy, sexy. What ensues is frantic copulating with overtly exaggerated and loud moaning sounds and of course the grand finale of the money shot that comes in spurts. Hahahaha!
Chellius, do you think that the reasonable man would watch porn?
"Oh, you don't wanna touch my thumbdrive."
"Why?"
*wink wink, nudge nudge* "It's got my collection of porn in it."
The reaction the general population of girls give to that is - "Ewwww!"
Girls generally tend to pretend that they've never seen porn before because it's the typical gross guy thing to do right before they wank or something. I don't know. I'm not a guy no matter how male I think I am.
I just don't get why anyone would get addicted to porn. I mean have you seen that shit? Doesn't it ever get boring?
You get an ugly ass toad of a guy, a fucking ugly toad of a chick, wham bam, they're naked... Oooh, sexy, sexy. What ensues is frantic copulating with overtly exaggerated and loud moaning sounds and of course the grand finale of the money shot that comes in spurts. Hahahaha!
Chellius, do you think that the reasonable man would watch porn?
Saturday, November 15, 2008
The Roman Element
If you have not figured out (I'm sure we would've told you anyhoo) but Chloius and Chellius are both roman!
Chloe-ius + Chelle-ius= Chloius Chellius. blogspot.com
Of course you'd want to know why on earth would we want to be Roman? Because we want to do what they did: take bits and pieces from another culture that they deem supreme and make it theirs!
We choose the most superior culture on earth currently, the Malay Culture. Next post i tell u why ok. But this post, i'll just talk about being roman.
1. Rome was founded by two twins, Romulus and Remus.
This blog is founded by two (brain)-twins Chloius and Chellius.
2. Why did we add the apitan-us in the back? Surely there are different types of apitan if you're Roman right? Eg: Cicero (he's the only Roman dude i know without a -us).
but we wanted to emulate people close to home.
(i). Chloius is to follow Julius Caesar, for the fact that she was born in July and that she was created before Chellius.
(ii). Chellius wants to be like Augustus Caesar, cause she's born in August and since Chloius came first, she wants to be just like Chloius when she grows up.
-She'd even steal a day from February (cause no one likes February) to be just like her...
3. Being Roman, you can take names of deities and plant them on obscure things, like days of the week: eg, Sunday was after the sun god and monday was named after the mon god (duh). ahhaa Moon god.
-so what we'll do is take people that our race feels very strongly about and name them after obscure things.
-at the top of my head the only important peoples i cans things of to our special culture is...urhm...
Samy Vellu.
And so we'd name something obscure after him like... tea time.
(i). So now instead of sayin 'yam cha' or 'minum teh tarik time' you gotta say:
"Hey guys i gotta go to the mamak lah, its Samy time"
(ii). another person that is important but we have to name something obscure after him or her would be urhm...... the angkasawan dude.
and we'll name something obscure after him... like toilet time.
"Hey urh i can't stand it anymore i got stomach ache, i gotta angkasawan now"
4. Despite all the exciting things about being roman... the fact that they killed Jesus kinda bothers me...
maybe we're like supporting the EU antichrist u know. I mean we're here supporting the people that killed jesus and yet we're like saying how the we know the devil is amongst and shit... quite the hypocritical also kan.
Chloe-ius + Chelle-ius= Chloius Chellius. blogspot.com
Of course you'd want to know why on earth would we want to be Roman? Because we want to do what they did: take bits and pieces from another culture that they deem supreme and make it theirs!
We choose the most superior culture on earth currently, the Malay Culture. Next post i tell u why ok. But this post, i'll just talk about being roman.
1. Rome was founded by two twins, Romulus and Remus.
This blog is founded by two (brain)-twins Chloius and Chellius.
2. Why did we add the apitan-us in the back? Surely there are different types of apitan if you're Roman right? Eg: Cicero (he's the only Roman dude i know without a -us).
but we wanted to emulate people close to home.
(i). Chloius is to follow Julius Caesar, for the fact that she was born in July and that she was created before Chellius.
(ii). Chellius wants to be like Augustus Caesar, cause she's born in August and since Chloius came first, she wants to be just like Chloius when she grows up.
-She'd even steal a day from February (cause no one likes February) to be just like her...
3. Being Roman, you can take names of deities and plant them on obscure things, like days of the week: eg, Sunday was after the sun god and monday was named after the mon god (duh). ahhaa Moon god.
-so what we'll do is take people that our race feels very strongly about and name them after obscure things.
-at the top of my head the only important peoples i cans things of to our special culture is...urhm...
Samy Vellu.
And so we'd name something obscure after him like... tea time.
(i). So now instead of sayin 'yam cha' or 'minum teh tarik time' you gotta say:
"Hey guys i gotta go to the mamak lah, its Samy time"
(ii). another person that is important but we have to name something obscure after him or her would be urhm...... the angkasawan dude.
and we'll name something obscure after him... like toilet time.
"Hey urh i can't stand it anymore i got stomach ache, i gotta angkasawan now"
4. Despite all the exciting things about being roman... the fact that they killed Jesus kinda bothers me...
maybe we're like supporting the EU antichrist u know. I mean we're here supporting the people that killed jesus and yet we're like saying how the we know the devil is amongst and shit... quite the hypocritical also kan.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Trying hard
I find it mildly disturbing that you never answered if you thought I was the reasonable man or not because that post just adds up to the possibility that you think I'm the reasonable man. Which would be oh my god so awesome because next time some fufu asks me what I wanna be when I grow up I'm not gonna say intellectual anymore, I'm gonna say I wanna be the reasonable man and if you think that oh my god I'm the fucking reasonable man NOW, it totally means I've grown up already and that's kind of fucked up because then nothing would ever be fun ever again cos you're not allowed to have fun once you grow up.
But we both know that's like what the fuck cos the part of our brain that is interconnected is snorting at the thought that I would ever fucking possibly grow up. Which is like crappy in its own cos then all my life I'll be on the quest to be the reasonable man but I'll never reach it and that would be pretty depressing in its own right.
I'm depressed and emo now. What would the reasonable man do Chellius? I don't know...
I may have to run to the hallowed halls of Brickfields and hunt down the A&W bear and seek enlightenment. Which would only make me more like that fucking reasonable man. Arrr I don't know whose side I'm on now - that of the reasonable man or the eu antichrist who would not need the hallowed halls of Brickfields to understand his purpose in life because all he was ever made to do is implant chips into children in the name of safety and take over the world. Such simple tasks I tell you.
Our reasonable man friend has on the other hand the weight of the world on his spindly nonexistant shoulders. He exists in our minds through which he gets his powers. He's like that dude whose name I can't remember who killed people through dreams... Freddie ah? Anyway that Elm Street dude who was only strong when people believed in him and weak when people weren't scared of him and forgot about him. We must never forget the reasonable man Chellius. Oh my god, what if we have to keep saying I do believe in the reasonable man, I do, I do like we say about fairies or he'd lose his power and that bastard eu antichrist will take over the world...
That oddly makes the reasonable man sound like Jesus in my head in a fucked up twisted way... Do you WWTRBD ever be as big a hit as WWJD? We could totally capitalize and go shopping!
Why do werewolves and vampires hate each other Chellius? I'm not quite sure why. Although I think they're both stupid and pathetic and poyofied and butt ridiculous. You never know, they could be different versions of the reasonable man and the eu antichrist.
Shit! Can you imagine if the reasonable man was an uberMalaysian super human super hero? Super human and super hero are two different things by the way... we're all only super human, the question is whether we can ever find a way to be super heroes too. The truth lies within.
ps: Oh and I don't know any "boonie". I know a Farhan and I know a boonsiew. They're both the sluttiest people I know. I think maybe you know them too. Is boonie a hybrid of the two that resulted in some unfortunate gay flamboyant name like boonie? Where do you want to take this "boonie" anyway?
But we both know that's like what the fuck cos the part of our brain that is interconnected is snorting at the thought that I would ever fucking possibly grow up. Which is like crappy in its own cos then all my life I'll be on the quest to be the reasonable man but I'll never reach it and that would be pretty depressing in its own right.
I'm depressed and emo now. What would the reasonable man do Chellius? I don't know...
I may have to run to the hallowed halls of Brickfields and hunt down the A&W bear and seek enlightenment. Which would only make me more like that fucking reasonable man. Arrr I don't know whose side I'm on now - that of the reasonable man or the eu antichrist who would not need the hallowed halls of Brickfields to understand his purpose in life because all he was ever made to do is implant chips into children in the name of safety and take over the world. Such simple tasks I tell you.
Our reasonable man friend has on the other hand the weight of the world on his spindly nonexistant shoulders. He exists in our minds through which he gets his powers. He's like that dude whose name I can't remember who killed people through dreams... Freddie ah? Anyway that Elm Street dude who was only strong when people believed in him and weak when people weren't scared of him and forgot about him. We must never forget the reasonable man Chellius. Oh my god, what if we have to keep saying I do believe in the reasonable man, I do, I do like we say about fairies or he'd lose his power and that bastard eu antichrist will take over the world...
That oddly makes the reasonable man sound like Jesus in my head in a fucked up twisted way... Do you WWTRBD ever be as big a hit as WWJD? We could totally capitalize and go shopping!
Why do werewolves and vampires hate each other Chellius? I'm not quite sure why. Although I think they're both stupid and pathetic and poyofied and butt ridiculous. You never know, they could be different versions of the reasonable man and the eu antichrist.
Shit! Can you imagine if the reasonable man was an uberMalaysian super human super hero? Super human and super hero are two different things by the way... we're all only super human, the question is whether we can ever find a way to be super heroes too. The truth lies within.
ps: Oh and I don't know any "boonie". I know a Farhan and I know a boonsiew. They're both the sluttiest people I know. I think maybe you know them too. Is boonie a hybrid of the two that resulted in some unfortunate gay flamboyant name like boonie? Where do you want to take this "boonie" anyway?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Only Superhuman, and not SuperHero for one day?
Well, i think that the reason why that happened to him in the first place is because one day, when Reasonable man was hanging out in Brickfields because he wanted to come and say hi to us, he accidentally walked into two blind guys (since they travel in pairs) and unfortunately one of them was like a bomoh blind guy who sacrificed his eyes to the dark arts.
I guess the Reasonable Man would realize that he isn't a super hero anymore when he tried to fly but then he jatuh and broked his backside. So he had to go to Hospital Assunta to go and bandage his backside.
And THEN....
The Reasonable man knows that he has to hide from thE Antichrist's:
Reasonable Man Tracking Radar.
The radar that shows his every move, every breath he takes, every move he makes...
Because the Anti christ was an incredible fan of the police.
And the un-super Reasonable man knows that there is only ONE MAN that is far more superior than the Anti Christ, and only one man that can whoop his ass and if the EU antichrist guy senses the ONE MAN on his radar, his heart would quiver in sheer fear.
So the reasonable man went to seek that ONE MAN and to beg for his mercy. He went to the hallowed halls of that very sanctuary, pressing rapidly on the buttons and begging the guard for entry. After being in the lift he throws h imself on the floor.
On the floors of Brickfields where the ONE MAN named Rajasingam Teddy Bear hangs out when he's bored. Cause only Teddy Bear can offer him shelter until the jampi bomoh brickfields wears off.
But now the question, Chloius, is:
is the teddy bear on the Reasonable Man's side? Or has he been secretly recruited by the EU antichrist to join the dark side?
Only time will tell, or maybe we should give mister rajasingam a call, maybe he'll tell us, so if we know that rajasingam is in the darkside, we have to find the Reasonable man and SAVE HIM!
ps: maybe we should bring boonie along. boonie is more stealth than us. we're dam loud wei
I guess the Reasonable Man would realize that he isn't a super hero anymore when he tried to fly but then he jatuh and broked his backside. So he had to go to Hospital Assunta to go and bandage his backside.
And THEN....
The Reasonable man knows that he has to hide from thE Antichrist's:
Reasonable Man Tracking Radar.
The radar that shows his every move, every breath he takes, every move he makes...
Because the Anti christ was an incredible fan of the police.
And the un-super Reasonable man knows that there is only ONE MAN that is far more superior than the Anti Christ, and only one man that can whoop his ass and if the EU antichrist guy senses the ONE MAN on his radar, his heart would quiver in sheer fear.
So the reasonable man went to seek that ONE MAN and to beg for his mercy. He went to the hallowed halls of that very sanctuary, pressing rapidly on the buttons and begging the guard for entry. After being in the lift he throws h imself on the floor.
On the floors of Brickfields where the ONE MAN named Rajasingam Teddy Bear hangs out when he's bored. Cause only Teddy Bear can offer him shelter until the jampi bomoh brickfields wears off.
But now the question, Chloius, is:
is the teddy bear on the Reasonable Man's side? Or has he been secretly recruited by the EU antichrist to join the dark side?
Only time will tell, or maybe we should give mister rajasingam a call, maybe he'll tell us, so if we know that rajasingam is in the darkside, we have to find the Reasonable man and SAVE HIM!
ps: maybe we should bring boonie along. boonie is more stealth than us. we're dam loud wei
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
chellius, como estas
Although you didn't list out the pros and cons of his omnipresent presence, I didn't need to think about it to be sure your teleportation theory is retarded :)
The whole omnipotent propaganda may be nothing but propaganda but then some dude who I obviously can't remember said that religion is the opium of man and we need it to survive even if it kills us. We need to believe that there is someone else out there in control of us just so we don't fuck everything up or if we do fuck up then at least there's someone else who can help fix it. Or kill us so we don't have to live with the fact we fucked up major or something. It's just that there's always someone bigger than us in charge so we're safe.
You listed out the cons. You missed out the fact that it would be extremely sucky to believe in a god who doesn't know a single fucking thing about us because life would be even more fleeting and meaningless than it already is now. Imagine if God turned his eyes away from us and we just withered away into nothing because we have no superhero powers of our own to hope for. If for just one second the world isn't in his hands we would evaporate. Or explode. Or implode. Or strip naked and run around amok shouting out lalalalala and throw molotov cocktails at vomit inducing people just to see what happens when they blow up unless of course someone else blows us up first lah.
And if he might catch us red handed doing one naughty thing even if we're good all the rest of the time why on earth are we even trying to be good then? Can you imagine how much more fucked up the world would be without the whole morality trip we have embedded into the back of our minds?
Oooh perhaps the whole omnipresent blabla is just that - everyone has a conscience and it is through that he is omnipresent.
It would suck no end if he teleported and we were unimportant pieces of crap. You know how the most fucked up kid is the one who doesn't get enough attention and does all kinds of crazy just to get that pitiful amount of love? Being low on someone's priority list isn't a pro. Not for attention seeking junkies like me anyway. I love attention. I crave it. I need it to survive. Look at me bitches.
I'd rather he be omnipresent chellius. You don't need the reasonable man to see that. Although the reasonable man would probably be so self-righteous and know for a fact without doubt all the things we question and are confused about. You're right, he could be some anally retentive cow for all we know and we could really want to stab his eyes out.
And since you asked me a question I'll ask you one too -
Oh and I googled the opium statement and apparently Karl Marx said it. I'm not sure where I read it from la dei but apparently I can quote Karl Marx in my wooly brain... And dungu how la you ask me the question and summon the reasonable man to answer pulak? OMG YOU THINK I'M THE REASONABLE MAN!
The whole omnipotent propaganda may be nothing but propaganda but then some dude who I obviously can't remember said that religion is the opium of man and we need it to survive even if it kills us. We need to believe that there is someone else out there in control of us just so we don't fuck everything up or if we do fuck up then at least there's someone else who can help fix it. Or kill us so we don't have to live with the fact we fucked up major or something. It's just that there's always someone bigger than us in charge so we're safe.
You listed out the cons. You missed out the fact that it would be extremely sucky to believe in a god who doesn't know a single fucking thing about us because life would be even more fleeting and meaningless than it already is now. Imagine if God turned his eyes away from us and we just withered away into nothing because we have no superhero powers of our own to hope for. If for just one second the world isn't in his hands we would evaporate. Or explode. Or implode. Or strip naked and run around amok shouting out lalalalala and throw molotov cocktails at vomit inducing people just to see what happens when they blow up unless of course someone else blows us up first lah.
And if he might catch us red handed doing one naughty thing even if we're good all the rest of the time why on earth are we even trying to be good then? Can you imagine how much more fucked up the world would be without the whole morality trip we have embedded into the back of our minds?
Oooh perhaps the whole omnipresent blabla is just that - everyone has a conscience and it is through that he is omnipresent.
It would suck no end if he teleported and we were unimportant pieces of crap. You know how the most fucked up kid is the one who doesn't get enough attention and does all kinds of crazy just to get that pitiful amount of love? Being low on someone's priority list isn't a pro. Not for attention seeking junkies like me anyway. I love attention. I crave it. I need it to survive. Look at me bitches.
I'd rather he be omnipresent chellius. You don't need the reasonable man to see that. Although the reasonable man would probably be so self-righteous and know for a fact without doubt all the things we question and are confused about. You're right, he could be some anally retentive cow for all we know and we could really want to stab his eyes out.
And since you asked me a question I'll ask you one too -
What do you think would happen to the reasonable man if he woke up one day and everything screwed him over? That stupid Clapham omnibus broke down like the rapidKL busses, the tube got blown up by terrorists so he couldn't get on that to go to work, he blinked and yawned and stretched out his arm ever so slightly in a momentary mistake of humanness and accidentally poked a one-eyed stranger in his only good eye and it turned septic and is now completely blind and can't work anymore, the eu antichrist said WAHAHAHA reasonable man I'm here to poop on you, ...
What would happen if the reasonable man woke up to realize he's just super human?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
chloius, which is scarier
ok so if you had to pick between the two which is scarier?
1. jesus having the ability to teleport from place to place, popping up anywhere and anytime without any warning?
or
2. the usual propagated fact that he is omnipresent and he can see whatever you're doing the entire time so that means he doesn't miss a beat.
choose wisely because both of them have their pros and cons. i'll list the ones that i have thought of. but then you will have to make the ultimate choice
1. teleportation of christ
a. the pros is that he will only be at one place at one time so if you're lucky he'll miss all the bad things you're doing
b. you can lie about certain things and he may not catch you because he'd teleport elsewhere
c. chances are before he teleports to your place, you'd get some signal before he comes like before your telephone rings, the tic tick tic static sounds.
im sure divinity triggers some sort of static.
d. there will be so many ppl dying and being born at the same time so there is a huge chance that he only saw you once and then he probably forgot you cause in comparison to other people who are heavy on the sinning, you're probably low on the priority list. (no offence)
e. or maybe if he had a choice to teleport, he would teleport on sundays cause that's when people say the nicest things about him. and people are on their best behaviours on sundays.
the cons about the teleportation of christ
a. is that he only sees you from time to time and if he catches you doing something really bad, he'd be utterly shocked compared to if he were omnipresent.
cause then he'd be used to your rubbish.
b. that would mean that if he only teleported to see you doing bad stuff despite being a good person the rest of the time, you'd still go to hell. cause he's only seeing you as bad chloius, not good chloius.
c. each time he teleported, it'll be a reassembling of his molecules right, so that means there'll be a new jesus all the time.
-how do we know that the new jesus is the very same one that died on the cross?
-maybe during the reassembling his niceness gene (inherited from the holy father) was somehow not replicated and after a few reassembling sessions, he's like jesus evil twin?
im too lazy to continue.
so uhm, reasonable man, i summon you to answer this question
1. jesus having the ability to teleport from place to place, popping up anywhere and anytime without any warning?
or
2. the usual propagated fact that he is omnipresent and he can see whatever you're doing the entire time so that means he doesn't miss a beat.
choose wisely because both of them have their pros and cons. i'll list the ones that i have thought of. but then you will have to make the ultimate choice
1. teleportation of christ
a. the pros is that he will only be at one place at one time so if you're lucky he'll miss all the bad things you're doing
b. you can lie about certain things and he may not catch you because he'd teleport elsewhere
c. chances are before he teleports to your place, you'd get some signal before he comes like before your telephone rings, the tic tick tic static sounds.
im sure divinity triggers some sort of static.
d. there will be so many ppl dying and being born at the same time so there is a huge chance that he only saw you once and then he probably forgot you cause in comparison to other people who are heavy on the sinning, you're probably low on the priority list. (no offence)
e. or maybe if he had a choice to teleport, he would teleport on sundays cause that's when people say the nicest things about him. and people are on their best behaviours on sundays.
the cons about the teleportation of christ
a. is that he only sees you from time to time and if he catches you doing something really bad, he'd be utterly shocked compared to if he were omnipresent.
cause then he'd be used to your rubbish.
b. that would mean that if he only teleported to see you doing bad stuff despite being a good person the rest of the time, you'd still go to hell. cause he's only seeing you as bad chloius, not good chloius.
c. each time he teleported, it'll be a reassembling of his molecules right, so that means there'll be a new jesus all the time.
-how do we know that the new jesus is the very same one that died on the cross?
-maybe during the reassembling his niceness gene (inherited from the holy father) was somehow not replicated and after a few reassembling sessions, he's like jesus evil twin?
im too lazy to continue.
so uhm, reasonable man, i summon you to answer this question
Monday, November 10, 2008
In the beginning...
There were two: Chellius and Chloius who were two strangers who quickly found they had more than two people ought to have in common - parts of their brain.
Whilst reading law they found out that they both got excited about the same entity - the reasonable man who they quickly saw as a anti-hero of sorts that they built in their bubbery roundabout minds into the most amazing superhero the world has ever seen. There have been times when they doubted the reasonable man but he always seemed to swoop in to save the day at the last minute and turn their disillusionment around into believing him to be the superhero he is.
During one of their many gazillion pointless, mindless conversations that they excitedly giggled over, they realized one thing - the reasonable man's archnemesis was the eu antichrist who in turn stemmed from the theory that the eu is the antichrist who is intent of taking over the world one step at a time - first coal and the economy, then through law and politics and money and then through society and finally religion and the only one who can enlighten us is the reasonable man who doesn't sit under bodhi trees but lives in our minds with our conscience and morality which means he is often blurry though it doesn't mean he doesn't exist because he does. He is very much real as he is imaginary.
Whilst reading law they found out that they both got excited about the same entity - the reasonable man who they quickly saw as a anti-hero of sorts that they built in their bubbery roundabout minds into the most amazing superhero the world has ever seen. There have been times when they doubted the reasonable man but he always seemed to swoop in to save the day at the last minute and turn their disillusionment around into believing him to be the superhero he is.
During one of their many gazillion pointless, mindless conversations that they excitedly giggled over, they realized one thing - the reasonable man's archnemesis was the eu antichrist who in turn stemmed from the theory that the eu is the antichrist who is intent of taking over the world one step at a time - first coal and the economy, then through law and politics and money and then through society and finally religion and the only one who can enlighten us is the reasonable man who doesn't sit under bodhi trees but lives in our minds with our conscience and morality which means he is often blurry though it doesn't mean he doesn't exist because he does. He is very much real as he is imaginary.
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