Arch nemesis and his evil henchmen

The reasonable man was snoring away happily dreaming about unreasonable things he would never be able to do when it hit him, "Mother fucker!" he shouted in his sleep which sounded more like "mmmmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhh!!!" instead. Even in his sleep his reasonable powers surpassed his understanding. His subconscious had managed to pull out from his mass memory of reasonableness that one rainy day years and years and years before when he was looking for a can opener to open some corned beef and his neighbour who for some reason was sneaking around his kitchen window in his backyard offered the use of his nose.

The memory jolted him awake. He gasped. Hart-binder! The can opener nose! His pink clad sister! Evil henchmen! The eu antichrist! Doomsday! Fuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkk!!!

He jumped out of the chair by the fire where he had his glorious afternoon naps throwing his cat off his lap in the process. He pulled up his suspenders and grabbed his tweed coat from the rack and opened the front door. He was just in time to catch the magical Clapham omnibus to make it into Brickfields. He had to see the teddy bear. He had the worst nightmares in his sleep.

He had barely made it two steps when his wife called out to him, "Why do you have your coat on? Can't you feel the midday heat? Seriously reasonable man, I have no idea why you're called that considering you're hardly reasonable at all! Take it off at once and go get the fish from the market or you'll have no dinner!"

Yes, our favourite super hero wasn't being very super heroish at this moment. He had become disillusioned by his powers at a young age and had gotten married to a Mrs. Twiddle who had smothered her first husband because he hated the cat. The question now is will he be able to pull his socks up and save the day once again? Will he be the reasonable man before it is too late? The ominous eu antichrist is fast gaining momentum whilst the reasonable man is a floundering middle aged man who rides the Clapham omnibus and the tube to go to work. What the fuck is happening?!