i am so depressed cause no one remembers that they're supposed to pay us yesterday. im thinking today is the 26th, one day after technical payday, therefore making it automatically the rightful payday.
but noooooooooo. its half past four and im still rehearsing my "oh-why-how-lovely" smile when i get my pay, a perfect mix of demure, sweet, grateful and yet tired from work.
bah, i tell you. i got conned CONNED. why no one is paying me WHY WHY WHY? dont they realize that i need the money? are you aware of the mathematics that makes me equal to a proletariat?
work + wages = enough for bare sustinence.
work x 2 + wages (still the same as upstairs) = bastard die adi
work x 1 + wages x 2= makes me a bourgeouise. which i am not.
HELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
CAN YOU HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL .
latest update: she's on leave. omg ok omg.
i'll have no money FOREVER. i will need to STEAL MAKE UP AGAIN FROM CARREFOUR in like three days. THREE DAYS omg
my eyebrows and moustache GROWING OK like HANTU ADI. in a week i'll look like a HOMELESS BOBCAT
and ya i got no new clothes in the last three days. can DIE OK. hahahahha.
she really on leave i saw her door. i saw . btw chloius can become troll ok. hahaha champion troll
Monday, October 26, 2009
neglected posts for infection/anatomy of the day
today we not so word generating crazy. but chloe is being stalkerish on google street maps. and i can see antichrist laughing to himself quietly. maybe he's plotting.
anatomy of the day: oblong brain. you have oblong brain when you pretend to work at a mamak. you dont actually possess the requisite skills to take orders, remember them, do arithmetic in your mind and then shout at people their orders to put them in their places.
if you got oblong brain, you will play during your work hours, like humming little songs in dudu du with a blank expression on your face. and when its time for you to clean up the plates, you twirl your hands around and make whoosh sounds. omg antichrist look at me hahaa he knows.
you wonder why when you ask him to kira your bill, he stands there as you tell him what you ate, but then he runs away to dunno where, so you never really get to know your total. after that there'll be this nice lady who'll tell you not to talk to him cause he's
"oblong brained" ya well then apparently. i might've misheard her. but i heard oblong and i guess i must understand that if your brain is more oblong than most, you only sing dudu songs and make whooshing noises.
infection of the day: (speculative), its when the oblong brain man is actually a pigeon disguised as a mamak guy.
if you think about it, the oblong guy actually behave like pigeon, he makes whoo hoo sounds, and flaps around. and doesnt know how to count. or how to talk. so if you have an oblong brain, youre likely to be experiencing pigeon-oblongitis.
anatomy of the day: oblong brain. you have oblong brain when you pretend to work at a mamak. you dont actually possess the requisite skills to take orders, remember them, do arithmetic in your mind and then shout at people their orders to put them in their places.
if you got oblong brain, you will play during your work hours, like humming little songs in dudu du with a blank expression on your face. and when its time for you to clean up the plates, you twirl your hands around and make whoosh sounds. omg antichrist look at me hahaa he knows.
you wonder why when you ask him to kira your bill, he stands there as you tell him what you ate, but then he runs away to dunno where, so you never really get to know your total. after that there'll be this nice lady who'll tell you not to talk to him cause he's
"oblong brained" ya well then apparently. i might've misheard her. but i heard oblong and i guess i must understand that if your brain is more oblong than most, you only sing dudu songs and make whooshing noises.
infection of the day: (speculative), its when the oblong brain man is actually a pigeon disguised as a mamak guy.
if you think about it, the oblong guy actually behave like pigeon, he makes whoo hoo sounds, and flaps around. and doesnt know how to count. or how to talk. so if you have an oblong brain, youre likely to be experiencing pigeon-oblongitis.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Chloe compliments an overtone. Chloe learns its star without your species. Evil Dictator waves against the invalid. A twisted age decides around Chloe.
Evil dictator rates the orient faucet without a bugs scenario. The must reporter lends michelle fei loong. Michelle fei loong arrives opposite a headed mayor. Michelle fei loong squashes evil dictator after a developer. Why can't evil dictator view michelle fei loong?
Evil dictator challenges each robust fascist near the devil. Farhan boon siew assaults evil dictator. A pointless circuit noses. Farhan boon siew dresses without evil dictator. Why won't the assorted dogma glow underneath the cable? Farhan boon siew attends!
we discover the evil dictator is actually a redneck american
Around the significance faints the tag. Redneck American dances with Chloe. Against Redneck American collapses Chloe. An economy schedules a daughter. The test anthology transports Redneck American in the questionnaire.
Michelle reacts to the smart glue. How can redneck American rattle? Her unconnected typewriter smells. Under Michelle hurts the cooled specimen. Michelle treks inside redneck American.
Why does Farhan meet the clause? The protocol discontinues the egg. A drunken rear exacts Farhan below the confining baggage. Farhan forecasts redneck American around a stripped shelter. Farhan hires the damned above a fatuous mankind. When will redneck American wow an alarming closet?
Evil dictator rates the orient faucet without a bugs scenario. The must reporter lends michelle fei loong. Michelle fei loong arrives opposite a headed mayor. Michelle fei loong squashes evil dictator after a developer. Why can't evil dictator view michelle fei loong?
Evil dictator challenges each robust fascist near the devil. Farhan boon siew assaults evil dictator. A pointless circuit noses. Farhan boon siew dresses without evil dictator. Why won't the assorted dogma glow underneath the cable? Farhan boon siew attends!
we discover the evil dictator is actually a redneck american
Around the significance faints the tag. Redneck American dances with Chloe. Against Redneck American collapses Chloe. An economy schedules a daughter. The test anthology transports Redneck American in the questionnaire.
Michelle reacts to the smart glue. How can redneck American rattle? Her unconnected typewriter smells. Under Michelle hurts the cooled specimen. Michelle treks inside redneck American.
Why does Farhan meet the clause? The protocol discontinues the egg. A drunken rear exacts Farhan below the confining baggage. Farhan forecasts redneck American around a stripped shelter. Farhan hires the damned above a fatuous mankind. When will redneck American wow an alarming closet?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
A story of EPIC proportions.
You may be wondering what this is but this is all that it is. Using a random word generator Marc Antony, Chellius and I created a story for your reading pleasure. The idea is to use whatever random word is generated to form a sentence (the caps words are the generated words) and from there create a story, each sentence relating somewhat to the last. Not only did chaos ensue, I got paid for it too. Unless the people of power are looking in on my screen now and saw that all I'm doing is having fun. Work isn't supposed to be fun. People here are very serious. Which is very scary for both Chellius and I. Please don't deduct my pay if you are looking in. Thank you.
One day, a bull decided to dive off a HILL to test gravity.
The bull flew in the sky and felt very HAPPY
Then the bull saw the clouds form random words like DISGORGING and didn't know what it meant.
While the bull wondered what disgorging meant, the clouds formed a CULT and chased him.
but suddenly the bull remembered the concept of gravity and asked the cult if they would FANCY a new pair of shoes
before he jatuh
The cult looked at the bull and sparked up a JOINT which they shared all around.
Suddenly, flying felt so NATURAL to the bull that he forgot he tengah jatuh
And right before he hit the ground he realized that he NEVER had a chance to try on a pair of udders and prance around pretending to be a cow
And that he hadn't EATEN his favourite food yet which is what he always wanted to do right before he died.
As he approached the ground he remembered a LECTURE he once heard about his favourite food.
And that lecture specified that if he came into close CONTACT with his favourite food, everyone around him would contract rabies and die but him
He also remembered that right before he jumped off the cliff an insane man had rounded him up and INSTALLED wings into his heinie
Using his new wings he flew off to find his favourite food, which was PIE, and ignored all the warnings.
He felt this strange renewed resolution to be alive and since he wanted to find pie, he also wanted to find his long lost girlcowfriend Nanululubelle and ask her to MARRY him and become prime minister of uk
He flew off to look for pie, and his girlfriend when he was distracted by the thought that he needed to check his appearance in the mirror to CONFIRM he still looked like Tony Blair only bovine.
Once he looked in a mirror, he put into action his master plan to win nalulubelle's heart by kidnapping the real Tony Blair and hiding him in a DUSTBIN
But in order to do this, he must move QUICK and stealth like an elephant, because if he does not, tony blair would realize a flying cow in the sky and this is not very common since the advent of the cow jumping over the moon during the reign of william and mary of orange
Another random thought flitted through the bulls head - that his ancestors jumped over the moon because if they jumped over the sun their balls would FRY
Dismissing the ridiculous thought, the bull decided the best way to lure Tony Blair out would be to use up all his internet BANDWIDTH so that he couldn't shop for makeup online and have to come out of his secret palace hideout
The plan was simple and yet effective. it was to capture tony's ATTENTION with something shiny like george's bush's ass and staking him through the chest with a stake. this was done in awe of his beautiful stunning face and physique
Before he could lure Tony Blair out the bull saw nalulubelle walking hand in hand with another bull and his heart was BROKEN.
As he sat and emoed to himself, he saw that the other bull wasnt actually a bull, it was a cow. Nalulubelle was a LESBIAN
just in case farhan was being a sleazebag that just has fantasies of hot lesbians, the enraged bull had to rub his eyes to double check the front of his nemesis: nanalulubelle's friend. and INDEED he saw udders and his heart leapt to his throat
He started jumping up and down in JOY.
He was so happy he ended up ACTIVATING his wings and flew away again
He thought hard about the places that he wanted to go to and realized what the HELL he forgot to take back his special box set of friends from his stupid nanalulubelle
and harry potter
the CUNTY MC CUNT
So he decided to call in the FAVOR nalulubelle owed him.
He began to question the EFFECTIVENESS of his wings as he realised he wasnt flying anymore
and he thought to himself oh DEAR how odd it must be to be floating in the air without wings, and realized he was the living evidence of that faggoty cunty mc cunt westlife song: flying without wings and wanted to die
Bull was upset that his life was such a disappointment but was DETERMINE not to let it get him down
His determination would not prove helpful as he slowly approached his GRAVE
Being hindu his whole life (being a cow) he wondered if Krishna would be mighty angry as he recited a HAIL mary under his breath since she is supposed to pray for sinners in the hour of their death or something like that
He looked to the light at the end of the tunnel but as he walked down he RECEIVED super powers and felt his life restored
His new super-INSECT-powers let him land safely. Thanking the hindu gods he then ran off to save the world
And then he realized wtf am i thanking the hindu gods when it was the hail mary that gave him divine safety. duh ex-hindu bullcow, and then he realized oh shit he should be paying ATTENTION to catholic deities now and converted on the spot
He also realized his super powers included wind and wanted to BLOW at someone.
He had trouble LOCATING someone to blow at because everyone ran away from the flying ex-hindu christian bullcow with super powers.
The square was empty but for one little girl that shouted: "HEY mister flying ex hindu catholic bullcow, what kind of faggoty mcgroin super power is that blowy thingy you can do?"
The ex hindu catholic bull heard a SOUND but decided to ignore it because with his super powers, he was like super man only with fourlegs and horns... plus, he looks like Tony Blair.
Ignoring all the calls for help he decided to go FISHING
He imagined fishing to be the end of all his adventures since only old ugly people go fishing. however as he sat with his pole, he fished out a fish that was of dazzling BEAUTY but spoke like Minnie Mouse which was a turn off
Did the bull forget to MENTION that he was related to Adolf Hitler?
Which is why the bull now advocated the SUPPRESSION of other species that were not bovine
Since this memory gave him some sort of meaningful direction in life he decided to set up concentration camps for all species specially fishes and to make them into REALLY depressed shits
Then he got hungry and ATE the fish.
Using his new direction in life and super powers, the bull started a RELIGION to ensure the supremacy of the bovine race
although he started a new religion, he didnt really have the BALLS to pick a fight with the muslims, cause they got bomb technicians and he didnt. yet
He used his superpowers to DESTROY the Americans though because they were seriously retarded and incestuous and kepochi. He also did it to instill fear and wonder into the muslims because as an ex-hindu catholic bullcow, he could appear to them in their dreams.
He then crippled the muslims by creating a crime SYNDICATE to give them drugs
But these poor drugged up victims needed to influence others in order for this hindu christian bullcow to be king over mind and soul. so he had to arrange for these morons to be HIP and happening. he gave them motorcycles to race illegally
He hit a rough PATCH eventually though when the motos started crashing into each other. Everytime he got a new follower, two other followers on motos would die...
So he decided that it would be safer to take away their motorcycles and give them LADDERs. So they could jump off them and get superpowers just like him.
Just as the bullcow suggested the ladder idea, the moronic drug induced illegal racers looked at him and said SOD off lah babi lembu, we want to rrrreve and rrrrempit with our motorbikes. ladders cant do shit other than be faggoty mcgroin
He then inserted micro CHIPs into their foreheads so they would bend to his will. It backfired though because of their lack of brains to control... they just continued motoing and crashing and revving their motos into each other.
One day, a bull decided to dive off a HILL to test gravity.
The bull flew in the sky and felt very HAPPY
Then the bull saw the clouds form random words like DISGORGING and didn't know what it meant.
While the bull wondered what disgorging meant, the clouds formed a CULT and chased him.
but suddenly the bull remembered the concept of gravity and asked the cult if they would FANCY a new pair of shoes
before he jatuh
The cult looked at the bull and sparked up a JOINT which they shared all around.
Suddenly, flying felt so NATURAL to the bull that he forgot he tengah jatuh
And right before he hit the ground he realized that he NEVER had a chance to try on a pair of udders and prance around pretending to be a cow
And that he hadn't EATEN his favourite food yet which is what he always wanted to do right before he died.
As he approached the ground he remembered a LECTURE he once heard about his favourite food.
And that lecture specified that if he came into close CONTACT with his favourite food, everyone around him would contract rabies and die but him
He also remembered that right before he jumped off the cliff an insane man had rounded him up and INSTALLED wings into his heinie
Using his new wings he flew off to find his favourite food, which was PIE, and ignored all the warnings.
He felt this strange renewed resolution to be alive and since he wanted to find pie, he also wanted to find his long lost girlcowfriend Nanululubelle and ask her to MARRY him and become prime minister of uk
He flew off to look for pie, and his girlfriend when he was distracted by the thought that he needed to check his appearance in the mirror to CONFIRM he still looked like Tony Blair only bovine.
Once he looked in a mirror, he put into action his master plan to win nalulubelle's heart by kidnapping the real Tony Blair and hiding him in a DUSTBIN
But in order to do this, he must move QUICK and stealth like an elephant, because if he does not, tony blair would realize a flying cow in the sky and this is not very common since the advent of the cow jumping over the moon during the reign of william and mary of orange
Another random thought flitted through the bulls head - that his ancestors jumped over the moon because if they jumped over the sun their balls would FRY
Dismissing the ridiculous thought, the bull decided the best way to lure Tony Blair out would be to use up all his internet BANDWIDTH so that he couldn't shop for makeup online and have to come out of his secret palace hideout
The plan was simple and yet effective. it was to capture tony's ATTENTION with something shiny like george's bush's ass and staking him through the chest with a stake. this was done in awe of his beautiful stunning face and physique
Before he could lure Tony Blair out the bull saw nalulubelle walking hand in hand with another bull and his heart was BROKEN.
As he sat and emoed to himself, he saw that the other bull wasnt actually a bull, it was a cow. Nalulubelle was a LESBIAN
just in case farhan was being a sleazebag that just has fantasies of hot lesbians, the enraged bull had to rub his eyes to double check the front of his nemesis: nanalulubelle's friend. and INDEED he saw udders and his heart leapt to his throat
He started jumping up and down in JOY.
He was so happy he ended up ACTIVATING his wings and flew away again
He thought hard about the places that he wanted to go to and realized what the HELL he forgot to take back his special box set of friends from his stupid nanalulubelle
and harry potter
the CUNTY MC CUNT
So he decided to call in the FAVOR nalulubelle owed him.
He began to question the EFFECTIVENESS of his wings as he realised he wasnt flying anymore
and he thought to himself oh DEAR how odd it must be to be floating in the air without wings, and realized he was the living evidence of that faggoty cunty mc cunt westlife song: flying without wings and wanted to die
Bull was upset that his life was such a disappointment but was DETERMINE not to let it get him down
His determination would not prove helpful as he slowly approached his GRAVE
Being hindu his whole life (being a cow) he wondered if Krishna would be mighty angry as he recited a HAIL mary under his breath since she is supposed to pray for sinners in the hour of their death or something like that
He looked to the light at the end of the tunnel but as he walked down he RECEIVED super powers and felt his life restored
His new super-INSECT-powers let him land safely. Thanking the hindu gods he then ran off to save the world
And then he realized wtf am i thanking the hindu gods when it was the hail mary that gave him divine safety. duh ex-hindu bullcow, and then he realized oh shit he should be paying ATTENTION to catholic deities now and converted on the spot
He also realized his super powers included wind and wanted to BLOW at someone.
He had trouble LOCATING someone to blow at because everyone ran away from the flying ex-hindu christian bullcow with super powers.
The square was empty but for one little girl that shouted: "HEY mister flying ex hindu catholic bullcow, what kind of faggoty mcgroin super power is that blowy thingy you can do?"
The ex hindu catholic bull heard a SOUND but decided to ignore it because with his super powers, he was like super man only with fourlegs and horns... plus, he looks like Tony Blair.
Ignoring all the calls for help he decided to go FISHING
He imagined fishing to be the end of all his adventures since only old ugly people go fishing. however as he sat with his pole, he fished out a fish that was of dazzling BEAUTY but spoke like Minnie Mouse which was a turn off
Did the bull forget to MENTION that he was related to Adolf Hitler?
Which is why the bull now advocated the SUPPRESSION of other species that were not bovine
Since this memory gave him some sort of meaningful direction in life he decided to set up concentration camps for all species specially fishes and to make them into REALLY depressed shits
Then he got hungry and ATE the fish.
Using his new direction in life and super powers, the bull started a RELIGION to ensure the supremacy of the bovine race
although he started a new religion, he didnt really have the BALLS to pick a fight with the muslims, cause they got bomb technicians and he didnt. yet
He used his superpowers to DESTROY the Americans though because they were seriously retarded and incestuous and kepochi. He also did it to instill fear and wonder into the muslims because as an ex-hindu catholic bullcow, he could appear to them in their dreams.
He then crippled the muslims by creating a crime SYNDICATE to give them drugs
But these poor drugged up victims needed to influence others in order for this hindu christian bullcow to be king over mind and soul. so he had to arrange for these morons to be HIP and happening. he gave them motorcycles to race illegally
He hit a rough PATCH eventually though when the motos started crashing into each other. Everytime he got a new follower, two other followers on motos would die...
So he decided that it would be safer to take away their motorcycles and give them LADDERs. So they could jump off them and get superpowers just like him.
Just as the bullcow suggested the ladder idea, the moronic drug induced illegal racers looked at him and said SOD off lah babi lembu, we want to rrrreve and rrrrempit with our motorbikes. ladders cant do shit other than be faggoty mcgroin
He then inserted micro CHIPs into their foreheads so they would bend to his will. It backfired though because of their lack of brains to control... they just continued motoing and crashing and revving their motos into each other.
cool swears
Anatomy/Swear/Phrase of the day : CUNTY MC CUNT - insert whenever excited, irritated, angry, hungry, bored etc. Fitting for most occasions, can be used instead of fuck or damn or hypochondriac. Cannot be used to replace rajasingham's face so please do not attempt to make it fit.
Infection of the day : swearwordsitis - where every made up infection ends with itis - cunty mc cunt - and doesn't make much sense anymore.
Extra note to Marc Antony who a few posts back complained of the posts getting shorter. The posts are not getting shorter cunty mc cunt. Your eyesight is.
Infection of the day : swearwordsitis - where every made up infection ends with itis - cunty mc cunt - and doesn't make much sense anymore.
Extra note to Marc Antony who a few posts back complained of the posts getting shorter. The posts are not getting shorter cunty mc cunt. Your eyesight is.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
not-so-interesting-today-cause everyone is angry
hi i forgot to put anatomy of the day: it is pelvic bone.
so why i talk about my pelvic bone? cause today when i got really scared and i ran to see my manager and i was like freaking scared cause he was like angry today. and i knocked my pelvic bone. i almost went down but i had to be brave and face my manager.
the pain was not as great as the bone crushing thing when i saw ameera. that was far worse.
my pelvic bone makes sitting down hurt. no matter how soft the chair is, it feels just like sitting down on a metal pipe. that's why when i sit on metal pipes it doesnt make much of a difference. cause im actually sitting on two pieces of bone.
my pelvic bone can fight crime. its injured molesters in club before. i bet if they were robbers they wuold've been hurt just the same. so that means they should make me into a new cartoon comic book character. pelvic-bony-girl.
infection of the day: u-have-a-really-bad-hair-cut
ok first of all if u look hot to us and you probably never really look hot in your life, you go and cut your hair into that bowlshaped thingy. now from the back not even cute ok. its ok i guess not your fault. that's why you don take out your jacket anymore. i suspect when you din come towork tha tday is cause you know we stalk your back. so you cut your hair.
"ill be so unattractive front and back, chloius and chellius wont find you hot at all."
why alot of people have the same haircut as marc anthony btw? its there this barber that shaves of chinese boy's hairs the way they do like thousands of years. i had this cousin that had the same haircut like that too. lucky i don see him anymore. duno where he is. i heard that he became a monk or something cause no one wanted to marry him. not cause of his hair. i think he was like a conman...
so why i talk about my pelvic bone? cause today when i got really scared and i ran to see my manager and i was like freaking scared cause he was like angry today. and i knocked my pelvic bone. i almost went down but i had to be brave and face my manager.
the pain was not as great as the bone crushing thing when i saw ameera. that was far worse.
my pelvic bone makes sitting down hurt. no matter how soft the chair is, it feels just like sitting down on a metal pipe. that's why when i sit on metal pipes it doesnt make much of a difference. cause im actually sitting on two pieces of bone.
my pelvic bone can fight crime. its injured molesters in club before. i bet if they were robbers they wuold've been hurt just the same. so that means they should make me into a new cartoon comic book character. pelvic-bony-girl.
infection of the day: u-have-a-really-bad-hair-cut
ok first of all if u look hot to us and you probably never really look hot in your life, you go and cut your hair into that bowlshaped thingy. now from the back not even cute ok. its ok i guess not your fault. that's why you don take out your jacket anymore. i suspect when you din come towork tha tday is cause you know we stalk your back. so you cut your hair.
"ill be so unattractive front and back, chloius and chellius wont find you hot at all."
why alot of people have the same haircut as marc anthony btw? its there this barber that shaves of chinese boy's hairs the way they do like thousands of years. i had this cousin that had the same haircut like that too. lucky i don see him anymore. duno where he is. i heard that he became a monk or something cause no one wanted to marry him. not cause of his hair. i think he was like a conman...
Monday, October 19, 2009
dear tony blair, my love, my dove
since my system is down i thought i would be honest about something to you guys. i saw this picture of tony blair and something about the eu and i realized in my heart that i have been hiding this truth from myself ever since first year.
im still in love with tony blair. i mean after seeing his pictures in my heart i know that he is the man for me.
dearest tony blair,
u must understand that my love for you is real and true, because although people hype about obama being the sexiest politician, i actually dont think so. no one is as endearingly short as you and no one else looks so closely like a monkey the way you do.
after attending a few classes in clp ive recognized that my lifelong dream is to adopt a monkey that is suffering from rabies and i would want to nurse it back to health so it will love me back. seeing your photos made me realize that if i had you as the man in my life, it would be so much like that! you do remind me of a little rabid monkey and i believe that it is that quality that made you so beautiful in my eyes.
when i saw that man in the movie the queen it made me weep when i realized that you are no longer prime minister. and they got an ugly guy to play you. and an ugly guy to replace you. where is the scientific logic in that asking a totally ugly guy to lead your country? gee man, that's just illogical.
your wife cherie blair (god smite her as i speak) her picture is in my house. apparently she has met my uncle. i had actually sent him to meet her to ensure her swift death, then when you are a widower you will meet me and you will realize that your true place in life is by my side. however, my uncle being a great law abiding lawyer man, only decided to pose for a moment with cheri and give me that horrifying picture. i made it into a shrine of anti cherie, in hopes of one day you realizing that i am your true love.
oh how i wish that you would know that i am alive. tony tony, we could go and shop for makeup together and bask in our mutual insecurities of having uneven skin tones. oh tony, how i yearn for your love each time my system crashes and i google images your face. what would it take for you to come down to malaysia and then find your true soul mate?
with all my beloved sighs and pain and heartache,
chellius
im still in love with tony blair. i mean after seeing his pictures in my heart i know that he is the man for me.
dearest tony blair,
u must understand that my love for you is real and true, because although people hype about obama being the sexiest politician, i actually dont think so. no one is as endearingly short as you and no one else looks so closely like a monkey the way you do.
after attending a few classes in clp ive recognized that my lifelong dream is to adopt a monkey that is suffering from rabies and i would want to nurse it back to health so it will love me back. seeing your photos made me realize that if i had you as the man in my life, it would be so much like that! you do remind me of a little rabid monkey and i believe that it is that quality that made you so beautiful in my eyes.
when i saw that man in the movie the queen it made me weep when i realized that you are no longer prime minister. and they got an ugly guy to play you. and an ugly guy to replace you. where is the scientific logic in that asking a totally ugly guy to lead your country? gee man, that's just illogical.
your wife cherie blair (god smite her as i speak) her picture is in my house. apparently she has met my uncle. i had actually sent him to meet her to ensure her swift death, then when you are a widower you will meet me and you will realize that your true place in life is by my side. however, my uncle being a great law abiding lawyer man, only decided to pose for a moment with cheri and give me that horrifying picture. i made it into a shrine of anti cherie, in hopes of one day you realizing that i am your true love.
oh how i wish that you would know that i am alive. tony tony, we could go and shop for makeup together and bask in our mutual insecurities of having uneven skin tones. oh tony, how i yearn for your love each time my system crashes and i google images your face. what would it take for you to come down to malaysia and then find your true soul mate?
with all my beloved sighs and pain and heartache,
chellius
the loveliest picture i could find of you i will put on my blog so everyone will know my deepset feelings for your handsome face. 
EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL NOW
Mondays are painful days but everything is wonderful now.
Anatomy of the day? Hair. Or lack thereof. Because Ben had a bad haircut. And Chellius puts ribbons and bows in her hair. And Marc Anthony has the dorkiest haircut ever but we saw this other guy with the same hair and spectacles who could have been him only much taller and fatter. Because Chloius has to cut her hair... Or at least wash it somewhat...
Infection of the day? Doilookstupidonitis - where earphones look like IV drip right before old men die.
Anatomy of the day? Hair. Or lack thereof. Because Ben had a bad haircut. And Chellius puts ribbons and bows in her hair. And Marc Anthony has the dorkiest haircut ever but we saw this other guy with the same hair and spectacles who could have been him only much taller and fatter. Because Chloius has to cut her hair... Or at least wash it somewhat...
Infection of the day? Doilookstupidonitis - where earphones look like IV drip right before old men die.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Re: Mind reading
As Chellius and I sit behind our computer screens and click, click type out shit into our computer screens, we are aware of how we're surrounded by mind readers. How do we know? Simple, we looked at the signs...
Ben: THE MOTHERFUCKER TEASED THE COCKSHIT OUT OF US YESTERDAY by removing his jacket and then putting it on again before he leaves... DICK! I HATE YOU! Just cos you have a sexy back you think you can mess with our heads... Mindfucker!
Gavin: He can google our computer screens? :S And also because we giggle like idiots whenever he's around la.
Possible convict guy: He knows when Chellius is typing shit about him and looks at her with his convict eyes. Either that or he actually think she very pretty and looks at her all the time and she only realizes when she says something about him because she's paranoid so she thinks he's a mind reader...
I think it's just paranoia. And the fact they can read our computer screens... Is privacy not sacred anymore? BASTARDS!
Ben: THE MOTHERFUCKER TEASED THE COCKSHIT OUT OF US YESTERDAY by removing his jacket and then putting it on again before he leaves... DICK! I HATE YOU! Just cos you have a sexy back you think you can mess with our heads... Mindfucker!
Gavin: He can google our computer screens? :S And also because we giggle like idiots whenever he's around la.
Possible convict guy: He knows when Chellius is typing shit about him and looks at her with his convict eyes. Either that or he actually think she very pretty and looks at her all the time and she only realizes when she says something about him because she's paranoid so she thinks he's a mind reader...
I think it's just paranoia. And the fact they can read our computer screens... Is privacy not sacred anymore? BASTARDS!
Imaginary friends
anatomy of the day: wrists
why did i choose wrists? not causse they're bony. is cause its the place where convicts tattoo their prison numbers on. really. so say you have this guy that comes into your office and everyone is really happy to see him, you think oh wow must be a really nice guy cause everyone that worked with him is really happy to see him again right.
but then you realize oh my god, what if the reason why they're happy to see him is cause they're happy to see that he got out of jail safe?
when he's alone at work he looks really sad. not because he wants to look pensieve and sexy for women.
its because is remembering the time he is in jail. that's why he's really sad. not because its his regular expression. he was remembering all the men that found him attractive and he realized that he shouldve had his face beat to shit before he went to jail.
how do you confirm this? check his wrists to see if he has a barcode with his prison number tattooed there. omg he just looked at me, maybe he can see me writing this cause he's a convict wtih super mental powers.
infection of the day: tb or tumor-bunnyculosis
its when you think you see the tb everywhere. when you're talking to your friends, you see his face floating in front of you and saying your name over and over.
its when you are talking about something random, it comes over and makes fun of you and calls you a faggot when you're not looking.
and only you can see it. your friends cant see it. only you can hear it.
and it says you're evil cause you are but since you're in denial you tell other people that it is evil.
by the way, if you have tb, in 2004, there has been reported 1.6 million deaths from tb. so you have been warned. so uh, go and buy for me flowers because i know how to tell tb to go away from you. he listens to me. wonder why. maybe cause IM A NICE PERSON and you're not.
why did i choose wrists? not causse they're bony. is cause its the place where convicts tattoo their prison numbers on. really. so say you have this guy that comes into your office and everyone is really happy to see him, you think oh wow must be a really nice guy cause everyone that worked with him is really happy to see him again right.
but then you realize oh my god, what if the reason why they're happy to see him is cause they're happy to see that he got out of jail safe?
when he's alone at work he looks really sad. not because he wants to look pensieve and sexy for women.
its because is remembering the time he is in jail. that's why he's really sad. not because its his regular expression. he was remembering all the men that found him attractive and he realized that he shouldve had his face beat to shit before he went to jail.
how do you confirm this? check his wrists to see if he has a barcode with his prison number tattooed there. omg he just looked at me, maybe he can see me writing this cause he's a convict wtih super mental powers.
infection of the day: tb or tumor-bunnyculosis
its when you think you see the tb everywhere. when you're talking to your friends, you see his face floating in front of you and saying your name over and over.
its when you are talking about something random, it comes over and makes fun of you and calls you a faggot when you're not looking.
and only you can see it. your friends cant see it. only you can hear it.
and it says you're evil cause you are but since you're in denial you tell other people that it is evil.
by the way, if you have tb, in 2004, there has been reported 1.6 million deaths from tb. so you have been warned. so uh, go and buy for me flowers because i know how to tell tb to go away from you. he listens to me. wonder why. maybe cause IM A NICE PERSON and you're not.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Japanese songs
Japanese men have scientifically the smallest penises in the world and because I am now being forced once again to go through Japanese cells the anatomy of the day is the penis. If when a Chinese man runs into the wall with an erection he breaks his nose, what then of the Japanese man?
Illness of the day is Folon which is what happens when through hours of sitting in front of a computer screen you get constipated and talk shit all the time. I know someone who suffers from Folon. He has many names, none of which is his true one.
Illness of the day is Folon which is what happens when through hours of sitting in front of a computer screen you get constipated and talk shit all the time. I know someone who suffers from Folon. He has many names, none of which is his true one.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Chloius vs Marc Antony
who knows the truth about the truth bunny? marc antony doesnt love truth bunny and told you its evil. but did you know this? he didnt tell you the whole truth. he just edited it and that's why the truth bunny is angry at marc antony
because chloius is so nice to the truth bunny. the truth bunny cannot help but be nice back to chloius
so you guys have to decide the truth what the truth bunny really is
Greetings to everyone, this is Marc Anthony writing at a special request from Chloius and Chellius. Today I would like to warn you all about the Truth Bunny. Once upon a time, Chellius was at work and her msn wasn't letting her bitch properly. It kept censoring her worst comments and she had to resort to drawing pictures of pure madness to communicate. It was in this madness that the Truth Bunny was born.
A wise monk once said, "If you see Buddha on the road, kill him". It is greatly recommended that you do the same with the Truth Bunny, because he will only bring you great suffering and not because of any of that wise wisdom shit.
In the beginning the Truth Bunny was a force of good. Bringing joy and happiness to all the children in the world. But one day it became evil, and began telling lies like "Santa Claus isn't real", causing great misery. Now, the Truth Bunny only lies and is mean to everyone around it. This is an example of how the Truth Bunny treats its friends:
A wise monk once said, "If you see Buddha on the road, kill him". It is greatly recommended that you do the same with the Truth Bunny, because he will only bring you great suffering and not because of any of that wise wisdom shit.
State of emergency
As we get more and more insane, senile and demented (all of which comes with age) I would like to shout out our anatomy of the day to something that is progressively regressing - our brain; the source of our intellect or lack thereof, where our brainfarts stem from and go to die, where we create random words for lack of one that describes particular brain fluid movement...
Brain: Oh look, Brain is going for lunch. Do you think we are invited?
Brain: Eh, your brain up your ass oredi ah?
Brain: Apatu? (what a most unfortunate patient said to his doctor after a botched up operation)
Brain: Faarrt!
Since I am writing about brains in todays article, our disease of the day would make much sense if connected to the brain as well. So what then is our disease of the day? It's not new nor original - stickitothemaniosis. An illness suffered by children the world around that unfortunately disappears with age. It is an extremely awesome disease to have but most unfortunately not as contagious as we would like it to be. It is often said to be a dying strain on the cusps of extinction yet everytime it seems as if there can be no more tomorrows, which is what probably would happen when stickitothemaniosis is no more, a sudden burst of hope appears on the horizon and not all is lost. I say that it is connected to the brain because without it our brains would be nothing more than mush, churned and churned again, washed out and filled in with repetitive words we were taught to say. Also the safest way to ensure that you are infected with this disease is to keep your brain up your ass.
Stickitothemaniosis: Way to stick it to the man Marc Anthony!
Stickitothemaniosis: Listen to them! Can't you see that they are suffering from stickitothemaniosis?
Stickitothemaniosis: What, is your brain up your ass? Oh no, it isn't. It's up YOUR ASS! YEAHH! STICKITOTHEMANIOSIS MOTHERFUCKER!
Stickitothemaniosis: Faarrt!
We are currently in a state of emergency. Without our brains and stickitothemaniosis we will be sucked into the depths of repulsiveness filled with the likes of Twilight and Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift. There are many of us fighting against the grain out there, please feel free to join in. We need you.
Extra: Constipation - what happens when Chellius and Chloius tahan macho...
Brain: Oh look, Brain is going for lunch. Do you think we are invited?
Brain: Eh, your brain up your ass oredi ah?
Brain: Apatu? (what a most unfortunate patient said to his doctor after a botched up operation)
Brain: Faarrt!
Since I am writing about brains in todays article, our disease of the day would make much sense if connected to the brain as well. So what then is our disease of the day? It's not new nor original - stickitothemaniosis. An illness suffered by children the world around that unfortunately disappears with age. It is an extremely awesome disease to have but most unfortunately not as contagious as we would like it to be. It is often said to be a dying strain on the cusps of extinction yet everytime it seems as if there can be no more tomorrows, which is what probably would happen when stickitothemaniosis is no more, a sudden burst of hope appears on the horizon and not all is lost. I say that it is connected to the brain because without it our brains would be nothing more than mush, churned and churned again, washed out and filled in with repetitive words we were taught to say. Also the safest way to ensure that you are infected with this disease is to keep your brain up your ass.
Stickitothemaniosis: Way to stick it to the man Marc Anthony!
Stickitothemaniosis: Listen to them! Can't you see that they are suffering from stickitothemaniosis?
Stickitothemaniosis: What, is your brain up your ass? Oh no, it isn't. It's up YOUR ASS! YEAHH! STICKITOTHEMANIOSIS MOTHERFUCKER!
Stickitothemaniosis: Faarrt!
We are currently in a state of emergency. Without our brains and stickitothemaniosis we will be sucked into the depths of repulsiveness filled with the likes of Twilight and Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift. There are many of us fighting against the grain out there, please feel free to join in. We need you.
Extra: Constipation - what happens when Chellius and Chloius tahan macho...
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
today is the day for houses
hi i want to have a theme for today. both my anatomy and infection will be premised on a common thread: houses!
the anatomy of the day (and be prepared to write a sentence that includes this word) isss: large intestine.
why large intestine? well because its the house that the colon lives in.
why large intestine? is because if you try to imagine life without your large intestine you realize that you are an unhappy person, you repetitive dumb dork. please dont ask the same question twice. you're trying my patience.
it is nature's waterslide for the useless. isnt it fun? for those who serve no purpose, they get to go on this WEEEE waterslide and then slide into shitty death. and its the colon's house. you should clean your colon cause then you can lose eight pounds.
it is also very good friend with your appendix. they are neighbours. so colon and appendix play together in the playground where their mummies can see them. if they get run over by their neighbours their mummies and daddies will be excited cause its one less mouth to feed.
infection of the day: europhilia
very much like necrophilia (ie: where necro means dead and philia means friend or whatever).
you like europe. you like everything about europe. you believe that eu is actually benign when its not. its actually mao tze dong who come back to kick your butts one more time.
you are also suffering from sarong party girl/(boy) syndrome where when you see white european people you get very excited because you think that finally you can marry european and become eu citizen and you will get free movement of person rights where you can run around free.
NOT
you are actually the spawn of satan once you touch the european ground and accept them into your heart. YOU MUST NOT. you must FIGHT AGAINST THEM. you must have the TRUTH inside your head and realize that the antichrist will rise from their shores. as third world country children, we must fight AGAINST THEM by buying sticks of dynamite and then bomb ourselves near their schools to ensure the child antichrist is eliminated.
end of extremist message
the anatomy of the day (and be prepared to write a sentence that includes this word) isss: large intestine.
why large intestine? well because its the house that the colon lives in.
why large intestine? is because if you try to imagine life without your large intestine you realize that you are an unhappy person, you repetitive dumb dork. please dont ask the same question twice. you're trying my patience.
it is nature's waterslide for the useless. isnt it fun? for those who serve no purpose, they get to go on this WEEEE waterslide and then slide into shitty death. and its the colon's house. you should clean your colon cause then you can lose eight pounds.
it is also very good friend with your appendix. they are neighbours. so colon and appendix play together in the playground where their mummies can see them. if they get run over by their neighbours their mummies and daddies will be excited cause its one less mouth to feed.
infection of the day: europhilia
very much like necrophilia (ie: where necro means dead and philia means friend or whatever).
you like europe. you like everything about europe. you believe that eu is actually benign when its not. its actually mao tze dong who come back to kick your butts one more time.
you are also suffering from sarong party girl/(boy) syndrome where when you see white european people you get very excited because you think that finally you can marry european and become eu citizen and you will get free movement of person rights where you can run around free.
NOT
you are actually the spawn of satan once you touch the european ground and accept them into your heart. YOU MUST NOT. you must FIGHT AGAINST THEM. you must have the TRUTH inside your head and realize that the antichrist will rise from their shores. as third world country children, we must fight AGAINST THEM by buying sticks of dynamite and then bomb ourselves near their schools to ensure the child antichrist is eliminated.
end of extremist message
Monday, October 12, 2009
it's everythingaday!
Hello, and welcome back to anatomy of the day coming to you five days a week from Monday to Friday. Todays anatomy is udders. That's right udders. You heard me, udders. Like, hey where are the udders going? Or, does that shop really say udders on it's signboard? Perhaps even ola udders, we is ze shiitz! I'll even go as far as to say oi you udders, stop squirting those peepole!Why udders you may ask. I would reply what udders? There are no udders here but us...
Also, because in Singapore, they harvest milk from plastic cows that graze by roadside pastures and are green and yellow. They have udders.
Infection of the day? Areyouscaredyetitis. Also known as oh I drank milk from Singapore now I want to touch people in the dark and agree with ANYTHING!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Today special day?
Hi chloius and whoever may be reading this
the anatomy of the day is: appendix
so remember guys the keyword today is appendix.
why did i pick appendix today? is because people say its useless. like we've evolved out of needing our appendix. like pagers. remember how we all needed pagers if you existed in the 1980s? of course you dont. its like men. how we used to need men around, however with the advent of sperm banks, women have evolved out of needing men. we just keep them around cause some of them can be quite cute.
generally it is well known to be just existing for your entertainment. it looks like a flower when its inflamed. and then you die if you dont take it out. i knew this girl who knew this girl who refused to go for an operation even though it was acting up. apparently she almost died.
but i wouldnt know. cause she say that she didnt want to go cause its maafan. and i dont even speak to the girl who knew this girl let alone if i know if this girl that knew this girl still speaks to this girl.
but then apparently now they say that your appendix might actually help your colon. so if you people have taken out your appendix and are really bangga that you got rid of that superfluous organ, think again. your colon might hate you forever now.
the infection of the day is: chia-mydia
very much like chlamydia, except that you will never get it through sex because the people that exhibit symptoms of this illness will die painfully and alone. most likely to be contagious if a bird decides to poop on your head.
symptoms include: foaming in mouth in his presence
pretending that you passed your second year and rabidly studying for an exam that you will only take in 2011
being sickly sweet to said bacteria however telling his other students to get him fired because he is a horrible person,
throwing random birthday parties just to serve him cake
and asking him stupid questions so he will notice you: "is the grundnorm edible?"
love, chellius
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Excited
KOE CAN BLOG WOOFUCKINGHOO!!!!!
Dear Chellius, we are at work. I think your anatomy/infection idea is ingenius so I shall do you a favour and start first.
My favourite anatomy of the day are feet. They look like hands but aren't. They are non-hands. Isn't that amazing? I know, I thought so too, that is why they are my favourite anatomy of the day. Amazing huh?
My favourite infection of the day is... Or should I say most HATED because you know, no one wants to get an infection. So my most hated infection of the day is andrewisanalitis because I just don't like him. Unfortunately also however, I can barely remember him other than his face looks like my ass.
So there you have it Chellius. Hope you enjoyed it and feel slightly more informed about life.
Love,
Chloius
Dear Chellius, we are at work. I think your anatomy/infection idea is ingenius so I shall do you a favour and start first.
My favourite anatomy of the day are feet. They look like hands but aren't. They are non-hands. Isn't that amazing? I know, I thought so too, that is why they are my favourite anatomy of the day. Amazing huh?
My favourite infection of the day is... Or should I say most HATED because you know, no one wants to get an infection. So my most hated infection of the day is andrewisanalitis because I just don't like him. Unfortunately also however, I can barely remember him other than his face looks like my ass.
So there you have it Chellius. Hope you enjoyed it and feel slightly more informed about life.
Love,
Chloius
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
saya seekor hakim
hi i got short story for you. it can be made into a comic if you ppl can draw human being. i can only draw cartoonish animals. so i cant lah.
nama saya adil.
saya seekor hakim. adil dan bahagia.
saya adil sebab mempunyai ethickks yang amat berkuasa.
saya bahagia sebab tak perlu mengalami clp yang ngeri seperti budak bodoh ipts
saya dapat semua seratus dalam zaman ke-degree-an saya
saya hanya guna satu textbook untuk jurisprudence
saya mempunyai advocacy yang sungguh menakutkan orang yang lain
kata kata legal saya amat powerful seperti menjilat muka kamu
saya amat bahagia
saya adil
saya seekor hakim yang adil dan bahagia.
my alter ego is idiot and bahaya
i however dont tell people these things.
in case they dont think im adil and bahagia.
saya seekor hakim. adil dan bahagia.
nama saya adil.
saya seekor hakim. adil dan bahagia.
saya adil sebab mempunyai ethickks yang amat berkuasa.
saya bahagia sebab tak perlu mengalami clp yang ngeri seperti budak bodoh ipts
saya dapat semua seratus dalam zaman ke-degree-an saya
saya hanya guna satu textbook untuk jurisprudence
saya mempunyai advocacy yang sungguh menakutkan orang yang lain
kata kata legal saya amat powerful seperti menjilat muka kamu
saya amat bahagia
saya adil
saya seekor hakim yang adil dan bahagia.
my alter ego is idiot and bahaya
i however dont tell people these things.
in case they dont think im adil and bahagia.
saya seekor hakim. adil dan bahagia.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
chellius can see chloius
hi chloius i can see you! you look like you're having happy time. hahaa.
i dunno why im blogging here. maybe cause i excited i have new friend at work. maybe cause i want to eat nandos really badly. maybe cause i havent updated cause i have been having soooo many adventures.
1. farhan and i play tanglung chase couples away and found the horrible hole
2. all of us play tanglung and chase couples away and kena traumatized
3. farhan and i go to cemetary and then got chase away by ghost dog and laughing evil children that cannot be seen.
4. then we burn all our textbooks yesterday hee hee hee.
textbooks that farhan bakar
1. hart concept of law
2. medical law cacat notes
textbooks chellius burn
1. hart's concept of law
2. cassese international law
3. eu craig and de bourca (book 1)
4. chia chee hong conflicts notes lol.
so bahagia bakar kesemuanya. so hangus adi. no one can pinjam my textbooks suck... HEHEHHEHEHEHEHE. so excited no more hart. he died. he bye bye and dieded. no more yuckie juris. maan i hope i pass clp one day. tak sabar to burn everything.
i dunno why im blogging here. maybe cause i excited i have new friend at work. maybe cause i want to eat nandos really badly. maybe cause i havent updated cause i have been having soooo many adventures.
1. farhan and i play tanglung chase couples away and found the horrible hole
2. all of us play tanglung and chase couples away and kena traumatized
3. farhan and i go to cemetary and then got chase away by ghost dog and laughing evil children that cannot be seen.
4. then we burn all our textbooks yesterday hee hee hee.
textbooks that farhan bakar
1. hart concept of law
2. medical law cacat notes
textbooks chellius burn
1. hart's concept of law
2. cassese international law
3. eu craig and de bourca (book 1)
4. chia chee hong conflicts notes lol.
so bahagia bakar kesemuanya. so hangus adi. no one can pinjam my textbooks suck... HEHEHHEHEHEHEHE. so excited no more hart. he died. he bye bye and dieded. no more yuckie juris. maan i hope i pass clp one day. tak sabar to burn everything.
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