plushie jesus please

Dear all, i apologize if you wanted to read something funny all you find are my friend's intellectually stimulating blogposts.

sigh, political discourse on my blog. how i yearn for the days of stupid discussion on the properties of our colons. since when did my friends become so clever that i have to read twice to grasp their academic point? (perhaps they always have been and i just jokingly laugh it off and hope it is a phase that passes)

i wanted a plushie marx. he'd be my best friend. but he looks like albert einstein and it'd be a tragedy that people think that i carry an albert einstein plushie so stupid. i wanted a plushie socrates but he's kinda boring cause he dresses like zeus and people would mistake him as a plushie zeus. that's so weird.

P.S: CHRISTIANS DO NOT FIND THE FOLLOWING HUMOROUS SO IF YOU'RE CHRISTIAN PLEASE SHIELD YOUR EYES. (my christian sister does NOT find the following funny and i am thoroughly disappointed because i do).

so ive decided the most iconic plushie is a PLUSHIE JESUS.

imagine the wonderful things you could do with a plushie jesus. "ive got a friend in jesusss"

and you could take jesus out for ice cream at baskins and say

"Its okay jesus, the jews just make ice cream now, i dont think that they'd crucify you if they saw you okay?"

and id take him to church and id show him around, "See jesus that's the pulpit where they read out your messages to us every sunday on our brand new sunday-sabbath. "

and jesus would be like "HEY I DIDN'T SAY IT LIKE THAAAAT"

and i'll be like , "Jesus, sorry but if i tell them hey church people my plushie jesus said you've got it all wrong, they'd throw me in christian prison because im a heretic that made a graven image of jesus that tells them THEY'RE WRONG"

and jesus would be like, "but chelle I AM JESUS THEIR MESSIAH"

and i'll be like, "yes you are but you're MY PLUSHIE JESUS TOO"

and we can go for walks and i can show him what automobiles are and i can scare the hindu cabdrivers with my plushie jesus .